


Toads & Sugar Quills

by MyBeanieIsALiar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Canon Compliant, Don't @ Me, Dumbledore's Army, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, Multi, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, and yes he is vital to the plot, anger issues just entered the chat, angsty Harry, mc is a little shit, mostly - Freeform, violent owls, yes a toad is one of the main characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyBeanieIsALiar/pseuds/MyBeanieIsALiar
Summary: In which Ramona Burke struggles to adapt to life without her best friend, throws hands with a pink toad, accidentally joins a rebellion, starts to worry she's got some serious anger issues, keeps losing her goddamn sugar quills, learns that Neville Longbottom isn't as much of a nerdy prude as she thought he was and does what she does best-complain.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Original Female Character(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 11
Kudos: 36





	1. Ramona Decides Teenagers Suck

**-September 1st 1995-**

Ramona Burke enjoyed silence, it comforted her, like a childhood blanket. She was used to it, usually spending her holidays cooped up in a huge empty manor with nothing but the House Elves for company but other than that, she'd learned to love the solitude from an early age. When her sister Regina was gone, she took with her all the noise and considering they hadn't seen each other in more than a year, Ramona had almost forgotten what it was like. Hence why the cacophony of Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters was so jarring to her.

Ramona watched the hordes of families rushing around, bidding farewell to their children for the next four months, mothers crying, older children desperate to escape back to school, owls squawking and flapping in their cages. Her head pounded as she pushed through them, dragging her heavy trunk and owl cage behind her with some difficulty, having been too lost in her own thoughts to remember to grab a trolley and now she was paying for it.  


The train was mostly empty so she was left with a wide selection of compartments but eventually selected one towards the end of the train and closed the door behind her. The window was closed too, muffling the noise from outside and she felt her shoulders relax a bit as she swung her legs up onto the seat and fished out a book, the pages wrinkled and dog-eared and the title half-faded from use and age.

Her parents, although purebloods, didn't have much quarrel with their daughter's interest in muggle literature, music or art but considering they spoke maybe twice a year, they probably didn't even know. It had started as an attempt to get their attention, from what limited stuff she'd overheard from eavesdropping on their dinner parties with their friends, they disliked those not of pureblood descent, or at least saw them as beneath them, but eventually she came to truly love and appreciate them. In some ways she thought muggles were actually more advanced than the wizarding community and both groups could benefit greatly from learning from each other.

The compartment door slid to the side roughly and one Pansy Parkinson threw herself inside dramatically, her pin-straight black hair fanning out behind her. "Oh Mona, you would not believe the summer I had!"

Pansy Parkinson was entertaining at her best and an insufferable sap with no sense of standards or self-worth at her worst, who had decided she needed some female friends to fall back on when her long-time crush got sick of her every now and then and thus thought that Ramona was a suitable candidate and she'd been unable to get rid of her since. She, like Ramona, was pure of blood although she made sure everyone was aware of this fact.

"I think I would believe actually, all you could talk about in your letters was how Draco had-"

"-Danced with me at that-"

"-Party his family had. Yes, I know, I was there if you didn't forget!"

"Is she _still_ going on about Malfoy?" Delilah's smiling face poked around the corner, a large container in hand from which, a nasty hissing was emitting. "What's that you're reading?"

Delilah Lee, in all her cheeky grin and smudged mascara glory, was a horrible gossip, a narcissistic bitch, had a tendency to be a bit sadistic at times and was Ramona's best friend since forever. They had been raised practically as sisters and did pretty much everything together for the majority of their lives. Delilah was there when nobody else was whether she was wanted or not, and for that, Ramona could never pay her back.

Ramona hesitated slightly before showing them the cover, bracing herself for judgement. "' _The Great Gatsby'_ , it's a Muggle book, I got it second-hand down at the village down the road."

Pansy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "Of course it is. I'll never understand why you like their books so much, anyways."

"It's really good!" Her curls shook as she adamantly defended her passion, finger holding her page. "It's about this guy, Nick, who-"

"No offence," Delilah held up a hand to stop her. "But we don't care."

Ramona pulled a face, she'd known they wouldn't get it but for some reason she always held a small sliver of hope that they might listen to her for once not immediately condemn anything that came from those "lesser than them". In fairness, their mindsets had been ingrained into them from an early age and unlearning a whole belief system was easier said than done. They all thought she was mad, especially after taking up Muggle Studies in third year but they'd learned to view it as more of an odd quirk so long as she didn't directly oppose them. Still, it was unwise to voice such opinions in the presence of her friends.

"Are the boys going to be sitting with us?" She cleared her throat at the hasty change of topics, hiding her book in her satchel beneath a half-empty packet of Sugar Quills.

"Hopefully." Pansy perked up, fixing her short, black bob. "Draco made pref...oh shit!"

She leapt to her feet and practically sprinted from the compartment, a small bag containing her school uniform in hand. Clearly she'd forgotten that she too, had been made a prefect, and had to patrol the train after meeting with the others. Delilah and Ramona laughed at her expense, she'd been so excited to be prefect (because in her mind that correlated to spending more time with Draco) and she was already failing miserably at performing her duties.

It was no surprise, however, that Pansy had received the badge. Out of all the girls in their dorm, she was the obvious choice; Ramona wasn't afraid to speak her mind in class when she didn't agree with professors (which was often and said with no filter), Delilah was far too fond of terrorising the younger years to be trusted in supervising them, Millicent Bulstrode was too stupid to tell a Doxy from a Pumpkin Pasty and Daphne Greengrass was not in Severus Snape's good books after she'd called him a 'slimy git' right to his face in second year. Pansy won by default.

Ramona and Delilah didn't waste time discussing their summers, knowing well that they were both awful, instead exchanging different rumours they'd heard about their new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, a ritual, considering they had a different one every year. Some said it was that the position was cursed, others said it was due to Dumbledore's incompetent hiring, others said it was a funny coincidence. Ramona didn't care what it was, it kept school life interesting even if DADA marks faltered a bit as a result of constantly changing professors.

"Daddy says it's Umbridge for sure." Delilah rolled her eyes. "You know, that horrible old hag up Fudge's ass?"

"The one with that hideous pink cardigan and the cat plates all over her office?" Ramona snorted, recalling the Ministry tour she'd gotten several years ago as part of a 'bring your daughter to work' scheme. "No way would Dumbledore let _her_ teach us, she was the one who initiated that whole Werewolf Legislation thing. If he had to take someone from the Ministry he'd either go for some clueless old fool from Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee or an eccentric Auror like he did last year."

"And how'd last year turn out for him?" Delilah crossed her arms, still annoyed with everything that had gone down at the end of their fourth year, Ramona's mood darkening at the memories.

"How could he have possibly known?"

"How could he _not_ have known that there was an Azkaban escapee taking the place of his apparently 'very good friend'?"

She chuckled, although it was a bit forced. "I suppose he doesn't have the best reputation for hiring capable and not completely insane professors. Lupin was great, and so was Quirrell till we found out what was actually under his turban."

Their compartment door slid open again, rattling a bit from the force, and their smiles died on their lips as Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe pushed their huge frames through the small entrance. They'd be lucky if they went an hour without the pair of brutes causing some sort of physical fight.

"Hey guys." Delilah's lips were pulled into a tight line. "How were your summers?"

"Has the trolley lady come yet?"

The two girls exchanged a look. "No, the train's only just set off, but why don't you two wait here for her while we go to the bathroom."

Making a narrow escape, they left the boys in the compartment and set off down the train in search of familiar faces. They were hoping to find Blaise or Daphne or even an acquaintance from another house, but they weren't having much luck. Eventually, they decided to split up and Ramona carried on towards the end of the train, earning some pitying stares as she went.

Unfortunately, she didn't know anybody in any of the compartments well enough to invite herself to join them and officially escape Crabbe and Goyle, but she did recognise the signature black braid of one Cho Chang heading towards the last compartment, muttering lowly to herself. Speeding up slightly, glad that she now had an excuse for not sitting with tweedledum and tweedledumber, she caught up to Cho.

"Cho, wait up!" She grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Mona? You okay?"

"Yeah, just barely escaped Malfoy's sidekicks, they're like two Confunded trolls without him and I couldn't stand another second," her curls shook as she laughed but her voice dropped to a quiet whisper. "How are you holding up? You didn't reply to any of my letters and I just want to make sure you're okay."

Cho flushed and ducked her head sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry. It's been rough but I'm doing a lot better now, I'm starting to come to terms with everything that happened."

Ramona seriously doubted that Cho was getting any better after the death of her boyfriend, Cedric, at the end of last year but didn't press the subject as they weren't in a very private setting and she wasn't particularly in the mood to pick at such a fresh bad memory. "Anyways, where are you headed off to?"

"Looking for Harry, just wanted to say hi to him before school started."

The Slytherin girl walked beside her and sighed slightly. "Yeah, that sounds like a completely harmless, friendly gesture, searching the entire train just to say hi to one boy, a boy who just so happened to have asked you to the ball last year and still turns red every time you look at him."

Cho pushed her shoulder playfully and unsuccessfully hid a smile. "Shut up, it isn't anything like that."

It was definitely something like that but Cho herself was incredibly confused as to whether she was allowed to like Harry. Cedric's death had only been a few months ago and she had convinced herself she wasn't allowed to be happy or let herself feel that way about anyone else so Ramona didn't push the topic much more than that, Cho had to heal in her own time.

When the older girl slid back the compartment door in which the Chosen One resided, they were greeted with four people staring up at them, covered head-to-toe in a foul-smelling green goop that had splattered both the ceiling and the walls. Not exactly what she'd been expecting but far more entertaining than anything she'd had in mind.

"Oh...hello Harry," Cho spoke, nose crinkling at the stench, eyes watering a bit. "Um...bad time?" 

The boy in question wiped away the goop that was covering his glasses so he could see her, surely bright crimson under the stuff. Ramona bit back a laugh at his evident mortification, he never did make his crush on her much of a secret. She knew for a fact that he'd asked her out last year but she was still with Cedric then. And though Ramona wasn't particularly fond of Harry Potter, she had to credit him for his loyalty.

"Oh...hi." He replied blankly.

Ramona could no longer suppress her laughter, snorting very loudly. "Green is a marvellous colour on you, Potter, really brings out your eyes."

Cho elbowed her in the stomach and shot her a warning look for the comment and for embarrassing her. "Um...well...just thought I'd say hello...bye then."

As soon as the pair were a few feet away, Cho buried her burning face in her hands. "God, that was so awkward! Why do I choose the absolute worst moments to talk to him?"

Ramona rolled her eyes. "I'm hardly an expert but he probably feels worse than you do. Honestly, I think you should just kiss his scrawny ass and get it over with. Dunno what you see in him anyways, when you take away all the 'Chosen One' bullshit, he's just an awkward little kid."

"You're horrible, Mona, he's really sweet."

"And I thrive off of it!" She laughed, the noise bouncing around them. "Did you see Longbottom's face when I came in? Priceless!"   
~~

"I'm starving!" Delilah grumbled quietly in annoyance. "Why does the Sorting Ceremony always take so bloody long? Who cares about first years anyways?"

Malfoy shushed her loudly from a few seats down, causing both Delilah and Ramona to burst into a poorly-contained fit of giggles. Even if he was a prefect now, they were unlikely listen to a word he said, far too used to ignoring him and his insatiable arrogance and power-complex.

All the usual teachers were there except for Professor Hagrid, the woman who'd subbed in for him before sitting in his place, and with the new addition of Dolores Umbridge, the height of the table almost reaching her chest. Apparently Delilah's father had been right in guessing she'd gotten the new Defence Against the Dark Arts job. Professor McGonagall proceeded with the Sorting, calling out students one by one until finally 'Zeller, Rose' was put into Hufflepuff. As the Transfiguration teacher exited with the Hat and stool, Dumbledore rose to his feet, commanding attention without even having to utter a word.

"To our newcomers," he spoke in a ringing voice. "Welcome! To our old hands-welcome back! There is a time for speech-making but this is not it. Tuck in!"

Ramona greedily stuffed herself with roast potatoes, steamed vegetables, sausages and three goblets of pumpkin juice. She ignored the looks from those around her, judging her mountain of food, and joined Delilah in making fun of Pansy practically drooling over Draco who was promptly pretending she didn't exist while her dinner lay forgotten.

"Save it for the dorms, Parkinson."

Pansy scowled and threw her fork at Ramona. "Shut it Burke, at least he didn't dump me by owl."

The playful smirk dropped off her lips. "That's cold but at least he was actually dating me."

"Okay, chill with the insults," Delilah rolled her eyes, well used to such petty disputes. "We all know not to bring up Asshole Dickface Larson, Pansy, stick to the contract."

"Fine, I'm sorry but you shouldn't have made fun of me."

"Whatever, one day you'll look back and see how right we are and that even you deserve better."

Feeling pleasantly drowsy after a large helping of sticky toffee pudding, Ramona also didn't care to listen to the start-of-term notices. It was always the same, don't go into the Forbidden Forest, don't use magic in the corridors, introductions to new teachers, Quidditch tryout announcements...wait, why was the pink woman standing up?

"Hem, hem." She coughed, interrupting the Headmaster. Clearly, she too intended to make a speech.

Dumbledore appeared taken aback for a second but slowly sunk back down into his seat, as intrigued as the rest of them to hear what this would be about.

"Thank you, Headmaster," her voice was unnaturally sweet and breathy. "For those kind words of welcome. Hem, hem. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking up at me!"

Ramona's frown deepened and her eyebrows lifted. Nobody looked very happy, most likely due to being addressed as though they were five or recently Confunded.

"I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!" She cleared her throat again and her voice took on a more business-like tone as though she were reading from a script. "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction."

It was at that point Ramona stopped listening. Clearly nothing more than a Ministry puppet, probably sent in by Fudge to keep tabs on Dumbledore and Harry Potter and discredit their claims. She wasn't all that surprised, Fudge wasn't known for his genius plans. The woman droned on about teaching and progress and pruning or something like that. It didn't seem as though she was the only one not paying attention, Delilah was hexing a third year boy's fingernails to grow to an alarming length, Cho was whispering animatedly with her friends, Pansy was trying to sneak her hand into Draco's and everyone else seemed glassy-eyed.

Finally, the awful woman sat down with little to no applause, most of it coming from the staff (even if most barely clapped more than twice before falling silent) and Dumbledore rose to his feet once more.

"Thank you, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating." He bowed to her. "Now, as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held..."

"What the actual fuck just happened?" She leaned in. "Did that woman just interrupt Dumbledore's speech? Who does she think she is?"

"She's from the Ministry," Pansy spoke smugly as if she was actually educating Ramona. "Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, probably here to take that old geezer down a peg or two."

"Like _she_ could," Delilah scoffed. "She's like smaller than the firsties and looks like the human embodiment of that pink toad on the packaging for Fudge Flies. I think I'll take the Azkaban escapee back."

"Don't be so mean, Father reckons she'll fix the school up."

"It'll be grand, sure she's a DADA teacher and they never stay longer than a year, she'll be gone soon."

  



	2. Ramona Can't Keep Her Fat Mouth Closed

**-September 1995-**

Ramona was always first up in her dorm, not wanting to deal with grumpy Slytherin girls who were irritable enough after their morning coffee, so she showered and dressed in a hurry before quickly petting her owl, Bacon, and slinging her schoolbag over her shoulder.

The Great Hall was mostly empty so she was left in peace to eat her toast while reading, the sun flooding the room with warm hues of yellow and orange. She sipped her tea as she read a book with worn pages, the spine practically falling apart. As the Hall filled up, the professors began to hand out schedules, most students groaning loudly in disappointment at the arrangement of their classes.

Ramona glanced at her own and sighed, Transfiguration first thing then double Potions with the Gryffindors, followed by Ancient Runes and then Defence Against the Dark Arts. Still, it wasn't looking as bad as the Wednesday which didn't involve a single doss class and included Astronomy at midnight.

"I want to die and to then have my cold and lifeless corpse sink into the ground, never to be seen again."

"Descriptive, Lee."

"Thanks, how on earth are you up so early without looking like death?"

Ramona slid a steaming cup of black coffee across the table. "I always look like death so you just don't notice and I wasn't up late gossiping with Daphne."

"What's first?"

"Transfiguration."

"Ew, choke me." She ripped into a piece of heavily buttered toast.

A sly smirk pulled at her lips. "Didn't know you were into that kinda stuff."

Blaise Zabini sank into the seat next to Delilah, snatching the toast out of her hand and taking a considerably large bite. "Oh yeah she is, are you really that surprised?"

"Shove off," she scowled at him but let him keep her food. "You wish."

They chuckled and proceeded with the usual back-to-school questions that none of them particularly cared about but seemed customary to ask. Ramona liked Blaise, he wasn't as set in Muggle-hatred as the rest of their friends were, sticking to mild insults rather than outright targeting muggle-born students but he was painfully arrogant and disdainful and cared a bit too much about other people's opinions of him. But the odd thing was, was how nice he was on his own and even borderline kind he could be after a few Firewhiskeys.

Daphne joined them after another ten minutes, sluggish in her movements and with dark circles under both eyes yet she still managed to look like she'd stepped straight off the runway. Her younger sister, Astoria, followed closely behind her and sat but a few seats away from the rest of them. Daphne was also very nice when not around Draco and Pansy or her parents, all of whom brought out a malicious, catty side to her but this was usually directed at others outside their little group so Ramona didn't mind it too much. It helped that Daphne had dirt on pretty much everyone in the school and was full of juicy stories.

"You're looking well rested, Daph." She smirked at her.

"Fuck off, Mona, I'm not in the mood, Ryan Connelly is back together with Efina Brooks, even after he danced with me all night at the Malfoy's."

"We saw, we were all there."

"Did you not once call Ryan an 'uncooked spaghetti of a boy' or did I misinterpret you?" Blaise asked with a deceptively straight face.

Daphne went a bit red. "I hate you all."

~~

Ramona had decided not two minutes into class that Dolores Umbridge was a colossal raging bitch and if her many disagreements with Professor Gilderoy Lockheart in her second year was any indication, she'd be spending the better half of the year in detention with the hag.

Umbridge watched them with beady eyes from behind her desk as they filtered in and once everyone had sat down she spoke in a high-pitched, sickly sweet, patronising voice. "Well, good afternoon."

There were a few muttered replies. She tutted. "That won't do now, will it? I should like you to reply 'Good afternoon Professor Umbridge'. One more time, please. Good afternoon class!"

They replied as she'd asked but in a dead monotone in stark contrast to her false cheer.

"There now," she said with a thin smile. "That wasn't too difficult now was it? Wands away and quills out please."

She caught Delilah's gloomy eye and they silently agreed that this year was about to be an incredibly infuriating one. Usually new teachers tried to open with a fun and interesting class, evidently, Umbridge did not care. Ramona reluctantly tucked her wand back into her bag and withdrew a long, chewed-on quill instead, often the victim of mistaken identity for once of her Sugar Quills.

Professor Umbridge tapped the blackboard sharply with her wand and the words _Defence Against the Dark Arts A Return To Basic Principles_ scrawled themselves across the surface. "Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it? The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year.

"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centred, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following please."

She tapped the blackboard with her wand again and more chalky words began to appear.

_Course Aims:_   
_1\. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._   
_2\. Learning to recognise situations in which defensive magic can legally be used._   
_3\. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

Ramona wrinkled her nose as she scanned the words. Really it just sounded like a bunch of bullshit that just meant the Ministry didn't approve of Dumbledore's handling of the school. In all fairness, they hadn't exactly the best record for DADA professors but Professor Lupin was brilliant and at least with Moody's imposter she learned a little. Still, she bit her tongue and copied it all down.

"Has everyone got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?" The class murmured the affirmative but of course this was not good enough. "I think we'll try again. When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes Professor Umbridge', or 'No Professor Umbridge'. So: has everyone got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes Professor Umbridge."

"Good," she said. "I should like you to turn to page five and read 'Chapter One: Basics for Beginners'. There will be no need to talk."

Ramona and Delilah shared another look before turning to page five and starting to read as the toady woman settled herself behind her desk looking quite smug. Her eyes passed over the text but no meaning went into her brain, silently accepting that she had a very tedious year ahead of her if every lesson was to follow as such and Umbridge proved herself to be as dreadfully up Fudge's arse as Ramona assumed.

As she glanced up briefly from the page, she noticed Hermione Granger's hand high in the air. Now, this was not an unusual occurrence, Granger often would stick her hand up to answer a question perhaps ten times a class, if not more, but what was odd was that Umbridge had asked no question and that she was pointedly ignoring Granger. Several minutes passed and neither force surrendered. Most of the other students had also taken to watching this exchange rather than reading Wilbert Slinkhard's atrocity of a book.

When more than half the class had their attention focused on Granger, Umbridge relented, knowing she could no longer ignore the situation and wait for it to disappear (although this was usually the Ministry's go-to strategy). "Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?"

"Not about the chapter, no." Granger said, shaking her impressively large hair.

"Well we're reading just now," Umbridge slightly bared her pointed teeth. "If you have other queries, we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims."

Ramona sat up straighter in her seat, suddenly far more intrigued by this promise of drama.

The professor's thin lips pursed. "And your name is?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully." Her voiced strained slightly.

"Well I don't," said Granger with so much bluntness, Ramona was taken aback. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

There was a short silence. Ramona frowned and glanced back up at the board. For however annoying Granger could be, she was right. Suddenly, the Ministry's motives became overwhelmingly clear, regulate what the kids learned, reprogram them into uncritical halfwits and blatantly ignore the return of the Dark Lord almost like if they did it hard enough he'd pack his bags and vacation off to France to do some serious self-reflection and soul-searching.

" _Using_ defensive spells?" Umbridge laughed patronisingly. "Why I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

Ramona's hand flew up.

"Yes, Miss-" the sweetness in her voice became even more forced.

"Ramona Burke. But, is the whole purpose of the class not to prepare us to help defend ourselves against dark wizards, creatures and magic?"

Umbridge looked her over with pouchy eyes. "Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Burke?"

"No, but if you're the standard they're looking for I don't think I'll have a hard time at it."

Delilah was staring daggers into the side of her head, clearly reading the situation as Ramona taking Granger's side but in the moment she couldn't have cared less. This woman was unbelievably stupid on top of her incredibly detestful personality.

Her eyes had narrowed into slits and the young Slytherin was surprised she wasn't given detention right on the spot. "Well then I'm afraid you're not qualified to decide what the 'whole purpose' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new programme of study. You will be learning about defence spells in a secure, risk-free way-"

"What use is that?" Harry Potter said loudly. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a-"

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr Potter!" She said in a half shout, half sing-song, the oddest intonation Ramona had ever heard in her life.

Potter thrust his fist in the air, looking fairly heated but Umbridge pretended she couldn't see it but at the same time, several others raised their hands, Ramona included.

"And your name is?" She turned to Dean Thomas with a barely concealed tut.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it? If we're going to be attacked it won't be risk-free."

"I repeat." She smiled down at him in a very irritating fashion. "Do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but-"

Professor Umbridge cut over him. "I do not wish to criticise the way things have been run in this school," a smile stretched over her lips. "But you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed-not to mention, extremely dangerous half-breeds."

Ramona felt her cheeks heat up in anger. "If you're referring to Professor Lupin, he was the best-"

" _Hand_ , Miss Burke!" She took a second to recover from her outburst. "As I was saying-you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day."

"No we haven't," Granger said. "We just-"

"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"

Granger put up her hand as Ramona's scowl deepened. Umbridge turned away from her, once again deflecting the situation. "It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you."

"Well he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" Dean Thomas spoke again, hotly. "Mind you, we still learned loads."

While their fourth year professor had ended up being a psycho Death Easter Azkaban-escapee in disguise as renowned Auror, Alastor Moody who had been far from kind and one of Ramona's most hated teachers, they had in fact learned a lot from him. If not thanks to him, she'd be unable to resist the Imperius Curse.

" _Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas_!" She screeched. "Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?"

Parvati Patil's hand had also now joined the throng. "Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled exam conditions."

Ramona scoffed loudly from her seat, unable to help herself. "We're expected to perform O.W.L. level defensive spells with absolutely no practice beforehand? Forgive me if that sounds like beetle dung to me, Professor."

"Ten points from Slytherin, Miss Burke." Umbridge replied cooly. "I repeat, so long as you've studied the theory hard enough-"

"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" Potter's hand was up again, now looking very heated.

She regarded him with disdain. "This is school, Mr Potter, not the real world."

"Then how are we expected to defend ourselves 'in the real world'?" Ramona said again.

"There is nothing to defend yourselves against, Miss Burke."

"Oh yeah?" Potter seemed to have reached peak anger, his fists clenched and his ears a violent red.

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children, like yourselves?" She asked in a horribly patronising voice.

"Hmm, let's think..." Potter said in a mocking tone, sure to anger her even more. "Maybe...Lord Voldemort?"

The reaction was as she anticipated, many in the class flinched or gasped, Lavender Brown let out a tiny scream, Neville Longbottom slipped off his stool but neither Umbridge nor Ramona moved. Her sister, Regina, had always referred to him by that name, usually with a curse following quick after so she'd never quite understood the stigma behind it.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr Potter."

The rest of the class fell dead silent, either looking at Potter or Umbridge, anxious to see what happened next. The toady woman stood up from behind her desk and leaned towards them as if it was supposed to be threatening.

"Now let me make a few things quite plain." She said venomously. "You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead-"

"He wasn't dead." Potter fumed. "But yeah, he's returned!"

"Mr-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-house-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," She said in a single breath without even glancing his way. "As I was saying, you have been informed a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. _This is a lie_."

"It is _not_ a lie!" Potter was shaking with anger. "I saw him, I fought him!"

"Detention, Mr Potter." She spoke. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, _this is a lie_. The Ministry guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners'."

She sat down behind her desk, looking triumphant, but Potter popped up in her place like a Jack-in-the-Box. Granger tugged at his sleeve, looking fearful, but he blatantly ignored her.

"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?"

Ramona felt ice run through her veins at the mention of her deceased friend. She'd tried to keep him out-of-mind over the summer, for her own sake, but clearly he'd been haunting Potter, the only one who'd actually seen him die, too.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident."

"What do you suppose killed him then, Professor?" Her head felt light upon her shoulders. "A bleeding garden Gnome? It was clearly the Killing Curse, there was a witness and everything!"

She felt hot tears well in her eyes but blinked them back as soon as they appeared.

"Detention, Miss Burke, same time, same place." Her face was blank. "I repeat, a tragic accident."

"Voldemort killed him and you know it!"

For the few long seconds after Potter's outburst, Ramona was sure she'd scream at him but then she spoke in her softest, most sickly sweet simper. "Come here, Mr Potter, dear."

He kicked his chair aside, it screeched on the stone floor and strode up to her desk as the class watched with bated breath. She pulled out a roll of pink parchment from her desk (Ramona guessed it was scented too, she got those kinda vibes off her) and began to scribble some words down upon the surface, the scratching of her quill on the parchment the only sound in the room for an agonising minute or so. She sealed it with a tap of her wand and handed it to the boy in for the of her.

"Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear."

He took it without saying a word and left the classroom with a slammed door behind him. There was another few seconds of painfully awkward silence before: "If you'll please continue with your reading, page five, 'Basics for Beginners'."  
~~

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Mona?" Delilah has to jog to keep up with her friend's long strides. "Taking _Potter's_ side?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't taking his side, I simply agree with the fact that she's a colossal bitch."

Delilah grabbed her arm and whirled her around. "And all that shit about Diggory? I get that you two were friends but at the end of the day, he was a blood traitor."

She opened her mouth to argue, to bite back but held her tongue once she thought twice about it. It wasn't safe to go around defending blood traitors and muggleborns these days, especially not around her friends. "It's not like it matters anymore, he's dead."

"Yeah, so no more of that, right?"

"Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just you wait, this Umbridge/Ramona rivalry can only get worse


	3. Ramona Reaps the Consequences

**-September 1995-**

"She is by far, the foulest, most horrid, slimy little toad of a woman I've ever met in my entire fifteen years of existence!" Ramona's voice carried around the entire common room which had mostly cleared out when she'd started on her rant, a pillow clenched so tightly in her grasp she'd permanently deformed it.

"Still on about Umbridge is she?" Draco slid in next to Delilah despite Pansy having scooted over to offer him the seat by her, Crabbe and Goyle close on his heels.

"Of course I am!" she snapped. "She's totally and completely incompetent!"

"Dunno," Delilah shrugged. "It was kinda funny when she gave Potter detention."

"Are we all just forgetting that she gave me detention too?" Ramona's upper lip curled into a sneer, disappointed at her friends' lack of sympathy for her.

"For good reason," Pansy sniffed, having shared Delilah's opinion that she was siding with the blood traitors in her rebellion against Umbridge's irrationality and censorship.

"Whatever," she threw the pillow aside and scooted a few more inches away from the others, "I just wanna get this week's detentions over and done with."

Draco grinned teasingly. "Oh yeah, you've gotta spend the evening with Potter, haven't you? Gonna be a riot, I suspect."

"Yes, I'm bursting with excitement as it grows nearer," her shoulders sank and she tossed her head back. "Stuck in a room with Potter and Umbridge, a dream come true."

She'd thought her friends' disappointing reaction to her detention was as bad as it could get but Cho's response was infinitely worse. The second Ramona had relayed to her the story, Cho had gone on a tyrant about how brave and noble Harry Potter was to speak the truth and defend the death of Cedric, not a word of it praising her friend who'd done the same. Needless to say, the talk with Cho had made her feel no better.

Ramona was in a foul mood for the entirety of dinner and didn't speak a word, scowling as she pushed around her baked potato aimlessly on her plate. She wasn't in the state of mind to listen to Draco drawl on about his father and Minirsty business, occasionally slipping in some backhanded insult about Potter as he seemed to more and more every year or watch Pansy drool over him rather than the perfectly good plate of food in front of her.

She ended up leaving early, only Delilah and Blaise sending a look at her retreating figure and went for a walk. First day back at school and she was already in trouble (even if it had been a more than fair criticism). Had Cedric still been there he would've rattled off bad joke after bad joke until he cracked a smile out of her. But Cedric wasn't there anymore. And Cho was sad and her parents were distant and Pansy only ever wanted to talk about Draco and Ramona had never hated her friends before but now she was starting to and-

A force hit her head-on and she stumbled back, falling onto the cold stone floor. She really must have been losing her mind if she was walking into statues she'd passed almost every day for four years. Ramona buried her face in her hands for a second, breathing deeply. She was fine. When she lifted her head, an arm was outstretched towards her, fingers trembling slightly.

"What are you doing here, Longbottom?"

He retracted his hand, biting his lip sheepishly. "Going to dinner."

"You're a bit late, they'll be serving dessert by now," she got to her feet and regarded him. He'd gotten taller over the summer, more gangly, lost some of the baby fat her friends loved to weaponise against him but his hair was still unruly and he still had perhaps a few more years until he grew into his ears.

He mumbled something, not looking her in the eye. She wasn't bothered enough to pull anything out of him and she didn't even have the energy to throw in a snide remark or even a disdainful look.

"Whatever, if you need proper food, you can get into the kitchen by tickling the pear."

He watched her brush past him and down the steps leading to the dungeons where the Slytherin common room and a roaring fire was waiting for her and opened his mouth, thinking to say thank you. But, nothing came out and she disappeared before he could even stammer out a single word.   
~~

The following day was cool and breezy and the dark clouds overhead were not promising which only put Ramona in an even worse mood, already dreading her detention with Umbridge that evening. She was walking down to Care of Magical Creatures (which they unfortunately shared with the Gryffindors) with her friends, listening to Draco's usual insults about Potter. The others all sniggered along to gratify him but Ramona could find no humour in the topic. He never shut up about the Potter boy and it was really starting to get on her nerves, their was a not-so-time line between rivalry and obsession which she thought he had crossed long ago.

In fact, all anyone could ever seem to talk about those days was Harry Potter whether their tone was pity, hatred, love, admiration, or fear and it was slowly driving her mental. Cedric had been brutally murdered and Voldemort was back and people only cared that Potter was a liar and filled with teenage angst. It was infuriating to say the least.

Professor Grubbly-Plank had gotten not two minutes into the lesson on Bowtruckles before Draco had instead turned to mocking Granger as her hand flew eagerly in the air. Pansy shrieked with laughter and Ramona inched away from them and closer to Delilah. They were to split up into groups and examine and sketch the Bowtruckles, little creatures that looked like twigs yet far more dangerous. Hopefully one could scratch out her eardrums so she'd never have to listen to Potter drama ever again. She stuck to the back of the class with her robes drawn tightly around her arms as Delilah picked out a Bowtruckle.

"Where's Hagrid?" Potter had questioned Grubbly-Plank, having also hung back.

"Never you mind," she'd said dismissively, walking to the other side of the group to avoid further conversation.

Draco cut between them and seized a Bowtruckle in his fist, the creature squirming in discomfort. "Maybe the stupid, great oaf's got himself badly injured."

"Maybe you will if you don't shut up," Potter had shot back tiredly under his breath.

"Maybe he's been messing with stuff that's too _big_ for him, if you get my drift."

Ramona's head throbbed and she felt the familiar bubbling of her temper rise to a boil. "For Merlin's sake, Draco, do you really have to make a comment every time Potter breathes? It's getting old."

Both boys looked at her as if she'd sprouted two heads and starting reciting Greek poetry and she realised that perhaps that may have read as her defending Potter which she most certainly was not, she knew better.

"...But sure, Hagrid sucks or whatever."

Draco spent the rest of the lesson sending her evil looks and leaving Pansy to do all the work while Potter had clearly relayed what she'd said to his friends, all three of them stealing glances at her when they thought she wasn't looking. She would have killed to become invisible.

She spent the rest of her day steeping in this foul anger, wishing for things to go back to the way they were last year, when life wasn't so damn complicated. By the time she was shuffling herself off to Umbridge's office for detention, you could practically see the black cloud hanging over her head, her fists balled up in her robes, feet dragging across the stone floor and a poisonous look in her dark eyes.

"You're late, Miss Burke." Umbridge and Potter stared up at her as she entered. The office was covered wall to wall in bright pink wallpaper, little ceramic plates of moving kittens lined up in rows upon them, every surface was draped with little lace doilies or floral print cloths and there was way too many cushions, embroidered, fluffy, crocheted, all pink and all hideous. Ramona's eyes felt assaulted and she blinked a few times to try and adjust to the sudden attack of colour. "Never let this happen again."

"Okay."

She took the seat beside the boy, dropping her bag to the ground with a clatter, pulling the piece of parchment set before her closer, she just wanted to get this over with and admittedly, writing lines was not the worst detention she'd ever had, the company was just less than subpar. A few days of this wouldn't be too bad, at least she wasn't being hung by her ankles as Filch always begged.

"Now you two will be doing some lines for me. No, not with your quill," she added and the pair retracted from their schoolbags. "You're going to be using some very special ones of mine. Here you are."

Ramona inspected the long, inky black quill and its unusually sharp point at the end, she did not have a good feeling about this.

"Ms Burke, I would like you to write ' _I must not talk back_ ', Mr Potter, please write ' _I must not tell lies_ '," she said softly but with some menacing glee stewing at the back of her throat.

"How many times?" he asked, an edge to his voice, like he was trying incredibly hard not to snarl at her like a rabid dog.

"Oh, as long as it takes for the message to sink in," Umbridge dropped three sugar cubes into her teacup. "Off you go."

Ramona looked around, the quill hovering midair, and realised they were missing something. "You haven't given us any ink."

"Oh, you won't need ink."

Ramona had barely scratched out her first ' _I must not_ ' when a sharp pain twanged from her left hand and she let loose a strangled gasp. She looked from the shining red letters on her parchment to where they also stood stark against the back of her left hand. She glanced at the boy sat beside her, equally as startled, and turned to look up at Umbridge.

"Is there something the matter, dear?"

Ramona opened her mouth to let loose a flurry of curses, how inhumane this was, child torture, illegal, something plucked straight from a medieval punishment book, that she would not sit by and wilfully deform herself, but Potter placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "Nothing."

The girl tore her eyes from that disgusting woman and scribbled out: ' _I must not talk back_ ' again, the second crimson line joining the first. She tucked her left arm beneath the table and out of sight of Umbridge. She would not give her the satisfaction. She wrote it again and again, line after line, the letters becoming messier as it became harder to ignore the pain, for what felt like hours and prayed that someone, anyone, would burst in and stop her and haul her off to Azkaban.

"Hands," Umbridge said after a while.

The pair presented their left hands to her, bright red and throbbing although the cuts had healed over. She snatched at them with her stubby fingers, and examined what damage she'd done. "Tut tut, I don't seem to have made much of an impression yet. Well, we'll just have to try again tomorrow evening, won't we? You may go."

They left silently. The halls were empty, it was surely past midnight and Ramona really wanted to cry.

"She can't do this," she muttered as they left the dreaded office in their wake. "It's literally child abuse...we have to tell someone."

"We can't," he said.

She looked at the Boy-Who-Lived with wide eyes. "What the ever loving fuck do you mean we can't?"

He sighed. "Telling someone won't do anything, Umbridge has got the Ministry's protection, nobody can stop her, even Dumbledore, it would just be making an unnecessary fuss."

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it, Potter," she hugged her arms around herself tightly. "This is a pride thing and I get it but it's not just you she's attacking, despite how special everyone tells us you are, your wellbeing is no more important than anybody else's. Just because you're the Chosen One, doesn't give your life any more importance than mine. See you tomorrow, Potter, maybe invest in some disinfectant for that hand."  
~~

The second detention was just as bad as the first although at least now, she knew what to expect. With every line she wrote out, her hatred festered more and more and she wished she could reach across the lace-draped desk and wring her awful fat neck. Miraculously, she managed to keep her temper in check and breathed through the pain but the mere thought of another two days of this torture gave her a headache.

She hadn't told any of her friends about the detention, the idea of doing so made her feel oddly queasy but none of them had even asked which made the topic easy to avoid. Ramona couldn't help but think that if Cedric were still alive she would have gone to him. He would have been furious, he'd always hated seeing other people get hurt, especially her. God, she missed him more than words could describe.

Ramona's fingers ghosted over the red raw patch on the back of her left hand while sat out by the lake with Cho, the pair taking a much needed break from the rest of the school.

"How are you holding up?" she asked softly, watching the tentacles of the Giant Squid skim the top of the water.

Cho sank down a bit into herself. "I don't know, Mona, it's ups and downs. Mostly downs."

"That's okay, I've been thinking about him a lot too," she took Cho's free hand in her own, the unmarred one and squeezed it lightly. "Nobody else really gets it, they didn't know Cedric like we did."

"It's like everyone expects me to just get over it, like I had a few months to grieve and now it's old news, they're sick of me, they're sick of talking about his death," Cho's voice wobbled a bit as she spoke. "I'm just really sad and confused all the time and all my friends are treating me like I've lost my mind."

Cho dissolved into tears, a common occurrence these days.

"I know, Cho," she wrapped her arms tightly around her friend and pulled her close, wishing she could do or say something, anything, that would make all this pain stop but she knew better than that, she knew that the world didn't work like that. "But you just have to keep on, there's nothing else you can do. You know Cedric wouldn't want you to feel this way, if he could he'd rise from the grave just to stop you from crying."

Cho buried her face deeper into Ramona's cloak and her shoulders shook violently.

"I'm sorry."  
~~

The third and second last detention sucked Hippogriff ass. The wound had stopped healing over and instead remained an angry, bleeding crimson, the words mocking her every time she caught sight of them. _I must not talk back_. Umbridge was a twisted woman. Thankfully, once she'd seen that their wounds were freely bleeding she'd let them leave early (if half ten could be considered early) with a comment on how with one more session could etch the message even deeper that sent a shiver down Ramona's spine.

Her and Potter had walked all the way down the hallway in silence before they parted ways, stopping briefly before he was to go up the stairs and her to go down. "Wrap up that hand of yours, Potter," she clapped him on the shoulder. "You wouldn't want it to scar."

He'd looked at her oddly in the dim torchlight before nodding. "You too, Burke."

Ramona was far from being Harry Potter's biggest superfan (she still thought he was annoying and egotistical and how did he manage to literally be the centre of everything that happened in Hogwarts?) but after the past few days she supposed he wasn't all that bad. While she couldn't say she really knew him or understood him any better, they had something in common now, an enemy, and that was more than what she had with anyone else at present.   
~~

Ramona trudged off to Umbridge's office at five o' clock on Friday evening as she had done so all week, glad to be done with it and looking forward to the weekend. If anything, Umbridge's methods were effective, Ramona might think twice before she spoke up in DADA again. Potter was looking more sullen and irritable than usual, his gaze directed out the window where Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were being held. At least that explained his attitude when she'd been dumb enough to greet him as she took up that cursed quill.

She had gotten used to the pain at that point, and the itching that followed some hours after the bleeding stopped but that made it no less unpleasant and she had to grit her teeth to stop herself from betraying her discomfort to the fat woman across from her. Some drops of blood from the back of her hand fell onto the lacy white tablecloth and she hoped it would stain.

After darkness had fallen outside, Umbridge put down her own pink quill on the desk and looked to the pair expectantly. "Let's see if you've got the message yet, shall we?"

Ramona held up her bleeding hand to the foul woman who examined it with beady eyes, grinning when she flinched as Umbridge poked at the stinging flesh with the tip of her nail. She'd moved over, satisfied with the damage and Potter offered his hand next which she'd snatched up in her stubby little fingers like a greedy child after sweets. She'd held him for but a few seconds when he ripped his arm from her hold and sprang to his feet, looking alarmed. Drama queen.

"Yes, it hurts, doesn't it?" she said softly. "Well I think I've made my point, you're both free to go."

Potter literally sprinted away from her office and Ramona debated chasing after him, for what reason, she didn't know and ignored her weird impulse, instead shouting half heartedly after him. "It was lovely hanging out with you, Potter, I really will miss our lovely conversations."

When she got back to the common room, she fell down in one of the armchairs by the fire, folding her arms around herself and tucking her knees into her chest. It wasn't as late as it usually was when she got back from detention and there were still plenty of people around, playing cards or reading or speaking in low tones or finishing off homework but none spared her much notice.

"Mona, what are you doing down here?" Delilah squeezed herself between Ramona and the side of the chair, already dressed in her pyjamas. "Avoiding everyone again? Or just moping?"

"I'm not avoiding you guys."

"You're a terrible liar," Delilah poked her in the side of her ribs. "You've been acting weird since we got back to school, is everything okay?"

Ramona didn't look at her, guilt clawing at her insides. "Yeah, I've just been in a really bad mood because of Umbridge and Potter and Pansy's being annoying and I can basically see the stick up Draco's ass coming out his mouth it's so deep in there and I just...I really miss Cedric."

Delilah's eyes softened a bit and she took up her friend's hand in her own, not noticing the writing on the back. "I know, but no matter how much everyone is pissing you off, they're the ones that really count in the end. Do you really think that when Potter and his posse accuse you of being a Death Eater, Chang will step up and defend you against her boyfriend? Not even Diggory would if he were still around. But we've got your back, no matter what, through thick and thin, always, because...we understand...what's this?"

Ramona looked down at her bleeding hand in Delilah's and shrugged as if that made the self-inflicted torture any more bearable. "Umbridge."

"She made you do this?"

"Yeah, sick freak." she swallowed the lump building up in her throat. "Potter had to write something about telling lies and he's being a dramatic little bitch about it."

"When's he not?" Delilah said softly. "Threw a tantrum the other day about missing Quidditch. We should get this bandaged up though, it's not curfew yet, I can borrow some stuff from Madam Pomfrey."

Ramona shook her head and took her hand back. "It's fine, I almost hope it scars so I can use it against her someday, maybe in court, maybe as blackmail, who knows?"

"Why not tell someone? Snape will be over the moon to get her fired."

"I..." she couldn't just say she'd promised Potter not to tell anyone, that would just result in a lecture she wasn't in the mood to sit through. "That won't get her fired, she's the Ministry's little puppet and they'll just cover this up if it gets out."

"True...I suppose we'll just have to cover up her her hideous murder as an unfortunate disappearance in the Forbidden Forest or something."

"I wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The teenage angst is strong with this one ngl


	4. Ramona Finds a Toad

-September 1995-

Ramona wasn't exactly the world's biggest Quidditch fan but she didn't exactly dislike either, it was just dreadfully uninteresting. Regina had played while she was still in school, Keeper, and was the Slytherin's team captain in her seventh year so Ramona had a little store of Quidditch knowledge in her head from Regina's many rants on the subject. It was also often enough that she was dragged down to the pitch to watch the different teams practice whether that be to cheer on their friends or to mock Potter and co.

The day after her detention just so happened to be a day for mocking as Draco had caught wind that Ronald Weasley had made Keeper on the Gryffindor team and this was an opportunity he simply couldn't pass up. Ramona lagged slightly behind the group as they traipsed down the the pitch, clutching onto Blaise for warmth despite the multiple layers she was practically drowning under. She could never stand the cold, something that sucked major balls when living in the UK, and it only ever served to put her in a worse mood than before.

They got there before the Gryffindor team but there were already a few onlookers in the stands, most from the Slytherin team but also those from the other Houses to scout out that year's competition, Daphne went to every Quidditch practice she could, despite not so much as touching a Quaffle in her life, Quidditch was one of the 'greatest joys' in her life. It was windier up in the stands and Ramona was starting to regret agreeing to come along even if she did have to prove that she wasn't actually avoiding her friends.

"What's that Weasley's riding?" Draco's voice jeered down, meaning that the Gryffindors must have entered the pitch, sometimes she thought he had a sixth sense for sniffing them out, like a bloodhound for sniffing chivalry and recklessness. "Why would anyone put a flying charm on a mouldy old log like that?"

Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy roared with laughter while the others mentally prepared themselves for at least another hour of this shit.

"Hey, Johnson," Pansy called as the team huddled up in the air. "What's with that hairstyle anyways? Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?"

Angelina Johnson firmly ignored the jibe but Ramona was not so controlled or calm in her reaction. "What the actual fuck, Pansy? Worms? Really?"

Pansy met her flaming gaze and looked almost guilty for a second. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Let it go, Mona," Delilah said firmly though she was no less pissed off by Pansy's ignorance. "It won't do any good to make a fuss about it."

She listened for once and tried to focus on the Quidditch although it was pretty difficult amidst the constant snarky commentary and exaggerated laughing every time a player fumbled coming from beside her. After a bit, a chant had started up, a painfully childish sounding: 'Gryffindor are losers, Gryffindor are losers', as Katie Bell bled furiously from the nose after being socked in the face with a poor pass from Weasley who was clearly thrown off by the crowd.

The practice was cut short as Katie turned an unsettling chalk white, the front of her robes stained dark red, an unnatural amount of blood from a nosebleed, the Weasley twins helping her back up to the Hospital Wing. Down a Chaser and both Beaters, Johnson stopped the practice and began to clear up though the jeers didn't stop till they'd left the pitch and were out of earshot in the changing rooms.

"Well that was a terrible waste of time," Delilah said as they hurried back up to the castle. "It lasted like what-twenty minutes?"

"Twenty minutes too long," Ramona grumbled, eyes meeting those of Harry Potter, who was leaving the changing rooms with a sullen-faced Weasley. She tried to convey her best apology for the day by nudging her head in the direction of Pansy and Malfoy who was walking fast to escape her and rolling her eyes. He managed a tight-lipped smile.

"Hurry up, I've got Divination homework to bullshit."

~~

Ramona didn't trust much of what the Daily Prophet had to say but it made for a good excuse not to have to talk to people in the mornings, seeming invested in that day's news. The morning it arrived, snatched just moments before it was about to fall into her porridge, with a large moving picture of Dolores Umbridge's face on the front cover, she knew the Ministry had stepped up their bullshitting game to a whole new level.

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED

FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR

Once she found out what 'High Inquisitor' actually meant, basically a fancy title giving the old hag power to be even more of a little shit and more than just a general nuisance, anger blossomed in her chest. The whole article was blatant Ministry propaganda and nothing much more than an excuse to slander Dumbledore. While she could admit the man had many faults in how he hired his staff, she'd take him over Umbridge any day.

"What's wrong?" Delilah peered over her shoulder at the article, bleary-eyed and frizzy-haired.

"Umbridge just got worse, now she's got an excuse to be even more of a living nightmare."

The woman herself sat up at the staff table, looking far too pleased with herself, shoulders set back, a little smirk pushing at her round cheeks, a little golden badge, perfectly polished, pinned to the breast of her knitted cardigan. The now faded writing on the back of Ramona's hand itched. It was so sick, all of it.

True to the promises of the article, Umbridge started popping up in various lessons, clipboard in hand, trailing after teachers, quizzing students, asking horribly intrusive questions and just being more of a pain in the arse than usual. How she had time to do this on top of her regular class times and essay-grading, Ramona didn't know but she might have been impressed at the time-juggling had she not hated the woman so much.

Like she'd promised Delilah, she bit her tongue in class, no matter how angry she got, though it was definitely not easy. She'd managed to get through several days of these supervised lessons without incident until one Care of Magical Creatures class with the Gryffindors later that week which was a disaster from beginning to end.

Umbridge had spent her time quizzing students on various magical creatures, taking notes on her clipboard, most of them answering with little problem, while Hagrid's teaching methods were a bit unorthodox, they worked. It wasn't until the very end of the lesson, after she'd finished cross-examining Professor Grubbly-Plank in excessive detail, Umbridge turned to Goyle, her little smile widening.

"Now I hear there have been injuries in this class?"

Goyle shot a dopey grin at Malfoy who said: "That was me, I got slashed by a Hippogriff."

"A Hippogriff?" she began scribbling frantically on her clipboard, tutting under her breath.

"He was hardly slashed, Professor," Ramona couldn't stop herself from speaking up, Malfoy's dramatics had lead to that creature's death and even still he played the victim. "It was a scratch, he's hardly been crippled."

Malfoy was looking at her venomously, after his initial shock had subsided. "I was in a sling for weeks."

"Only because he was too stupid to listen to what Hagrid told him to do," Potter spat from a few feet away.

Several groans resounded from the other students as Umbridge's face went stony and she slowly turned to face him. "Another night's detention, I think. Well, thank you very much, Professor Grubbly-Plank, I think that's all I need here. You will be receiving the results of your inspection within ten days."

As Umbridge waddled past, she met Ramona's eyes, and pursed her lips. Despite how silly she looked, Ramona knew this was a warning, she was lucky she hadn't wound up in detention again but she wouldn't be getting any more chances after this. Another stunt and she'd be back to forcibly deforming herself.

~~

"What's wrong with you, Mona?" Pansy had exploded after a terse silence while the girls did their homework on the floor of their dorm in a little circle around a pile of sweets and snacks.

"Lots of stuff, Pansy, you'll have to be more specific."

Pansy's fists grabbed at the parchment she had half a Potions essay written on, crumpling it under her grip. "Why were you such a bitch to Draco earlier?"

Ramona huffed a bit and refused to look up from her Charms book. "Because he was being a drama queen about it, an innocent creature died because of his need for attention. All I did was call him out on it because it would have affected Umbridge's inspection."

Delilah and Daphne looked at each other awkwardly, unsure of whether they should try to slip out of the room before this dissolved into another famous Ramona vs Pansy row.

"That beast was hardly innocent, it almost killed him!"

"Pomfrey herself said he was fine! Are you trying to argue with a trained medical professional?"

"She wasn't there!"

"It was his own fault for not listening!" Ramona's sudden leap to her feet sent papers scattering everywhere, homework forgotten in her anger. "I'm leaving, don't follow me."

Making extra sure to slam the door behind her, Ramona took the steps two at a time to the common room, trying to control her breathing. She ignored Blaise as he reached out to catch her arm and shouldered past two little second years who'd yelled after her. She didn't know where she was going but she didn't care anymore, she just had to get away before she said something really bad and ruined her own life.

~~

They had almost been at school for a full month and Ramona hated it more with every passing day. She felt her friends grow more and more distant from her, her patience was near nonexistent and Umbridge only grew fouler, like a glass of milk left out on a warm summer's day. She'd tried hard not to earn herself another week's detention after the first, she wanted to get sick every time she looked at the fading pink mark on the back of her hand and wasn't sure she could handle another session, not with everything else going on in her life.

That morning she'd gotten a letter from Regina, it had to be since her parents had never sent her a letter in their lives and she had no close connection with anyone outside of Hogwarts besides her sister. She'd tucked the envelope away in her robes before anyone else had seen it and had the chance to pester her and she slipped away with the excuse that she had some homework to finish before class.

One of Ramona's favourite things about Hogwarts were the little alcoves on the first floor windows which were perfect for hiding yourself away in with a book during free classes or for reading letters from your sister that your friends definitely did not approve of. The alcoves were well-lit, comfortable and private enough without seeming too suspicious and like you were trying to hide something, even if you were.

Dear Mona,

I would ask you how school's going but I have a feeling I already know your answer. I'm sorry I didn't write much over summer but I've taken on a bit of a side-project and it's more than a bit time consuming. I'm hoping things quieten down a bit at the shop so maybe I can meet up with you in Hogsmeade sometime soon, just send me on all the dates once you get them.

On a more serious note, how are you doing after everything that happened last year? I know you were close with that Cedric boy and I also know that you're going to pretend you're not upset about it. Just try not to follow in my footsteps and act rashly, it never turned out in my favour and it certainly won't in yours. I don't think Imaan and Richard could bear another overwhelming disappointment in the family.

Take care of yourself and try not to get any detentions this year!

Regina.

P.s. please send some of those little lemon cookies the kitchens make I'm having really bad cravings for them.

Ramona folded the letter back up with careful hands and kept it safely in the inner pocket of her robes, making a mental note to reply later that night when the rest of the dorm was asleep. She hopped out of the little alcove, planning on heading back to her dorm to grab her school bag when she felt something land on her shoe. It was a toad. Not too perturbed by her new friend (much weirder things had happened), she slowly picked him up in cupped palms.

"Hey little guy," she held him up to eye-level and smiled at him. "You're handsome, aren't you? You're probably the best looking boy here, let me treat you to some breakfast."

Ramona headed back to her dorm, toad still cupped in her palms, hoping that Daphne (who also had a pet toad though hers had cost half a fortune and was as large as a small cauldron) wouldn't notice if she stole some of its food. She wondered briefly if she was truly losing her mind, seemingly having adopted some poor soul's lost toad and talking to it like they were long lost friends. She should probably make some missing posters.

As she fed the toad flies from a little container from Daphne's nightstand she said: "I should probably give you a name until I find your owner shouldn't I? You like Rasputin? I'll take your silence for a yes."

"Who are you-Merlin's balls, Mona!" Delilah and Pansy stood in the doorway, looking down at her in disappointment. She hadn't spoken to either since the fight last night but it seemed it would blow over as most of their rows did, with one of them forgetting about it overnight.

"What?" she said snippily, daring them to mock her and invoke her wrath.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "You've finally cracked, haven't you? Talking to a frog."

"Rasputin is a toad, dumbass."

Delilah barely held back a snort of laughter. "You named it?"

"Him," she corrected. "Not 'it'. Or at the very least, 'they' would've sufficed."

~~

Ramona spent the rest of her day making up 'Lost Toad' posters whenever teachers weren't looking during class and pointedly ignored her friends' judgemental stares as she did so. She'd only had Rasputin a couple of hours and already felt safer in his company than she did theirs even though he was a toad and couldn't really hurt her even if he tried.

She'd then spent her evening hanging up the posters around the school, having left dinner early after Pansy's drooling over Draco had put off her appetite, Rasputin tucked safely in her pocket, the slight weight in her robes almost comforting. It was really too bad she couldn't keep him, he was awfully sweet and didn't bite her like Bacon, her owl, did, however much she loved him aside.

"Hey, this is Trevor."

Ramona turned to a voice further down the corridor where a slight Ravenclaw girl with almost white blonde hair stood examining one of her posters, her shoes suspiciously absentee, tangled hair ornamented with little trinkets. Loony Lovegood, as most people tended to call the eccentric girl, she thought Delilah was the one to originate the name. Ramona had never personally spoken to her so she couldn't be much of a judge and she'd seen far stranger than a girl missing her shoes with some funky stuff in her hair, maybe it was a new fashion trend.

"Is this your toad?" Ramona fished him out of her pocket and approached the girl whose actual name she had to learn because even referring to her as 'Loony' in her head felt a bit wrong. "I found him this morning."

"Oh no," she said in a breezy voice that seemed very fitting, patting his little head with a finger laden down with homemade rings. "He's not mine, he's my friend's, he's always losing him. Personally, I suspect it's-"

Heavy footsteps and deep laboured breathing approached them and Neville Longbottom rounded the corner, red-faced and teary-eyed. "Luna I can't find him anywhere! Gran's gonna kill me!"

She laughed a bit, shaking her head, reminding Ramona a bit like the tinkling of bells. "He's right here, I told you the chant would work."

He then seemed to notice Ramona Burke standing there, his toad cupped in her palms, posters tucked under one arm, and he felt himself die a little bit inside as she stared him down. It really was just his luck that she'd find Trevor instead of somebody infinitely more approachable.

"He's yours?" she asked. "You're a lucky guy, Ras-Trevor is one special toad, don't lose him again or I might just keep him."

She placed the toad carefully into his hand and looked up at his pale face and wide eyes. She debated whether she should waste energy to try come across as more friendly and decided against it, he'd probably pass out from shock and even if that'd be a little funny she didn't wanna help haul him down to the Hospital Wing.

"Well then, I'll go take down my posters, don't miss me too much."

~~

Gina,

You were too late in your warning, I had detention the whole first week of school with the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor because she is so far up the Ministry's arse she can't handle listening to logic or understanding basic fact. You'll be really proud of me though, haven't gotten a detention since that first round and I'm not planning on it anytime soon.

I don't know if you've been reading The Daily Prophet but if you have, you have some idea of the absolute fuckery I'm putting up with on a daily basis. Umbridge, the new DADA professor (though that title is an overstatement she does little more than sit at the top of the room while we read the "Ministry Approved" textbook) is also now High Inquisitor and has been sitting in on all the other lessons and making up reports on all the other teachers. On top of this, she's absolutely sick, I don't feel right talking about it over post but next time I see you I can show you.

To be honest, I'm not doing too badly coping with Cedric's death, at least compared to Cho. I miss him more than I could've imagined and it makes me so angry thinking about it and my other friends have only grown more distant because of it, but things could be worse. It helps that I'm wasting a lot of energy being mad at other people so I don't have time to get too sad.

On top of all of this I can't find the jumbo pack of of Sugar Quills I packed anywhere. Personally, I suspect Millicent, she's been acting really shifty lately but I can't accuse her of anything without being told that I'm 'siding with bloodtraitors and mudbloods', that's pretty much their go-to comeback whenever I piss them off.

How's the shop going? I haven't been in ages and I think I might miss it more than you. Whatever your "side project" is, I hope it's to do with work instead of something dumb and reckless like it usually tends to be when you're being secretive like this.

I've attached a tin filled with as many of those lemon biscuits as I could fit, please make them last this time, the poor House Elves must be sick of me.

Mona.

P.s. Hogsmeade trip first weekend in October, Three Broomsticks?

P.p.s opinions on us getting a pet toad??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevor is the only real Harry Potter character that matters, Rowling where is my Trevor epilogue?


	5. Ramona Makes a Big Mistake

-October 1995-

Ramona was not-so-pleasantly surprised to see that Umbridge had gotten worse. On the first day of the new month, she'd woken up to see a framed piece of parchment stuck up on the notice board in the common room. It was early enough that not many people were up and about, but those who were, were crowded around this piece of parchment.

She made her way up and gently pushed to the front and read what she'd thought was perhaps the start of a new club of sorts. 

_BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS_

_Any student found in possession of a spell-check charmed quill will be severely punished._

_The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number One._

_Signed_ : _Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor._

"Is she serious?" Ramona reread the statement but none of the words changed. "This is ridiculous! Who cares?"

"This does seem a bit excessive," said Blaise from beside her. "Why'd she need to frame it? Waste of good wood if you ask me."

Ramona drew away from the wall and basically threw herself onto the emerald couch by the fire, Blaise hot on her heels. "It's so unfair, she hasn't taken into account students with dyslexia who already struggle enough as it is!"

"You could talk to her about it," he rested a hand on her shoulder. 

Ramona scoffed. "She wouldn't listen or care, this is the start of her slowly stripping power from Dumbledore and the other teachers until the Ministry have control over literally every aspect of our school lives."

His brow furrowed. "When you put it like that it sounds a little fascist."

"Only a little?" Ramona fought to keep her voice level. "Just you wait till she sets up her own private disciplinary force, I can already see it."

Ramona was still seething with anger through breakfast and couldn't even bring herself to read that morning's Daily Prophet, almost fighting with the owl that had brought it so she didn't have to waste a Knut just to get even more furious. But eventually, she was Daily Prophet-free and covered in scratches. 

To make matters worse, Umbridge also had Filch hang up her first Educational Decree outside the Great Hall on the empty space around the door. There was enough space for hundreds more but Ramona didn't want to think about something so horrifying.

Not many of her friends seemed as disgruntled about this Education Decree as she was, they didn't seem to understand that this could only get worse, that Umbridge would slowly strip them of all their rights and liberties. When they had a dictator for Headmaster they wouldn't be so nonchalant.

"Mona, wait up!"

Cho Chang skidded to a halt, red-faced and out of breath, taking a moment to regain it as Ramona laughed at her a bit, leading them to sit down in one of the alcoves by the windows, there was still an hour until class and she needed to talk and take her mind off of Umbridge. "What's up?"

"So, I was just talking to Hermione Granger back there and she was telling me about this group they're making in opposition to Umbridge and she said I could invite anyone I thought would be interested so of course you were my first thought."

Ramona shifted uncomfortably under Cho's eager gaze as she tried to process this sudden rush of information, so much for taking a break from Umbridge talk. "I'm guessing Potter is leading this group then?"

"Yeah," Cho only looked embarrassed for a split second, character development in comparison to her usually bright red face whenever he was mentioned, "that's what Hermione said. He'll be teaching us actual defensive magic! The first meeting is this weekend in Hogsmeade."

"It sounds great but you know I can't." Ramona focused her attention on the fraying sleeve of her robes, not wanting to meet Cho's eyes while she explained herself. "People hate me, Potter and his crew definitely do, and they don't want me there, I'd kill the vibe."

Cho took her by the hands, brow furrowed as she carefully thought through her next words. "But this is your chance to show people how cool you really are, to show them what Cedric saw in you, to get some friends who actually appreciate you."

Ramona snatched back her hands as if Cho had burned her. "I already have friends that appreciate me plenty, I've got you and Delilah and when they're not being prats, Blaise, Daphne and Pansy, I don't need to be in with the Potterheads to prove I'm not a bad person, in fact, I don't owe that to anyone."

Cho's face dropped and her eyes grew watery despite her rapid blinking. Those days, tears came quick and easy and often with little notice to Cho Chang. "Sorry, I just wanted to help, I didn't mean to make you upset."

Regret surged through Ramona as she watched her friend struggle to fight back tears. She really had to learn to filter her words because all her fat mouth ever seemed to do was get her in trouble. She was really about to regret her next words. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that...I'll go."

Cho's head snapped back up, eyes growing a bit brighter.

"The first meeting _only_ , if they don't want me there, I'm not hanging around and you're not allowed to advocate for me, okay?"

Cho leapt up and was all but bouncing. "Oh this is going to be so fun! You, me and Marietta fighting against injustice and censorship!"

Ramona's stomach dropped. "You never said Marietta was coming..."

Cho was already halfway down the corridor and pretending she couldn't hear Ramona's protests.  
~~

It was only the first weekend in October yet there was already a thin layer of frost and snow blanketing the ground and the sky was that steely grey that warned of biting winds. Ramona could feel the chill even in the warmth of the castle, anxiously poking at her eggs, already questioning all her life choices that led up to this moment. Pansy sat opposite her, babbling away about something she'd long since stopped listening to and Delilah was still asleep, having stayed up late in detention with Flitwick after being caught terrorising some poor third years.

"Earth to Mona!" Pansy's fingers snapped in her face. "What is with you today? You haven't even made a snarky comment about Draco yet and you haven't said a word all morning about Educational Decree Number Nine. Did I accidentally piss you off again? You should be telling me when I do that, remember that talk we had about communication?"

Ramona blinked a few times. "No, I'm just tired, nightmares."

Pansy nodded, her bob swishing as she did so, which was about as sympathetic as she ever really got. "I'd have nightmares if I had to hang out with Edgecombe too."

"She's not that bad," Ramona defended weakly. "She's been one of the only ones still there for Cho after everything with Cedric last year, she's been really supportive."

"She's also a spineless coward and a total suck-up, remember that time she got you landed in detention for a _month_?"

She grimaced, memories of scrubbing the floor of the Owlery flooding back and hitting her like a hammer to the skull. "All too well, but you can't say I didn't deserve it, I literally destroyed the bathroom."

"Sneaks get stitches as the Muggles say...I think."  
~~

Ramona's head swirled with thoughts of turning tail and running, any ounce of confidence sapped from her body long before. The only thing stopping her from doing just that was Cho's grip on her hand, leading her down to the Hog's Head Inn, a shady pub at the far end of Hogsmeade with a broken sign and windows so dirty you couldn't see through them. It also happened to be her sister's favourite place in Hogsmeade, for reasons Ramona never dared ask. The odd thing that helped settle her nerves was Marietta's constant stream of talk about nothing, rattling on about different types of quills, uncaring if either of the other girls were listening or not.

Cho was off in her own head, probably fantasising about Harry Potter holding her gently as he gave her private defence lessons, whispering sweet words in her ear, the dazed smile on her face telling all to the world. Lovesick idiot or recently confunded, most would never know.

"Does anybody actually know I'm coming?" Ramona asked quietly as they approached the inn. "Or is this a lovely little surprise? I'm sure they all missed their favourite person."

Cho was momentarily knocked out of her stupor and looked a little bit embarrassed. "I didn't tell anybody, no, I kinda forgot...but Hermione said to bring anyone I thought would be interested, she didn't mention anything about it being limited to certain people."

"Because nobody else would think to bring a Slytherin," Marietta added in unhelpfully, her reddish-blonde curls getting tangled around the buttons of her coat with a sudden gust of icy wind.

Ramona said nothing in retaliation, knowing it would do nothing but cause more problems, and she'd rather save her nastier insults for Umbridge instead of wasting them on Marietta.

"Mona has just as much of a right as anybody else to be here, her House shouldn't dictate stuff like that," Cho squeezed her hand a little bit tighter and Ramona felt her pulse slow a little. What was the worst that could really happen?

They entered with a creak from the old wooden door, the handle half-rusted and falling off. A good few people were already there, talking in low voices, all of whom seemed to be staring straight at Mona, as if she was the oddest thing they'd ever laid eyes upon. Resisting the urge to collapse in on herself, Ramona flashed Potter a smile and awkward wave as they met eyes and shifted a bit closer to Cho. More people came in after them, some people from the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a few Potter fan club members, Luna Lovegood (who had dreamily smiled at Ramona and took the empty seat beside her), a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws she vaguely recognised, three more Weasley siblings and the Quidditch commentator.

The barman was watching this eclectic group of children in bewilderment, having stopped halfway through polishing a dirty glass with an even dirtier cloth. This was probably more business than he got all year. Twenty-nine kids didn't seem like very much of a secret, underground group but she also doubted that this was everybody in the school unhappy with Umbridge's teaching, just those well-known to Potter and stupid enough.

One of the Weasley twins (she wasn't sure which one) did a quick head count and ordered drinks for everyone. He handed them out, only sparing an extra second of a look at Ramona before moving on. "Cheers, cough up everyone, I haven't got enough gold for all of these..."

Everyone rooted through pockets in search of money, coins clinking together as each person dropped their share on the counter in front of the thoroughly displeased looking barman who seemed vaguely familiar before they moved back to sit around an uncomfortably fidgety Harry Potter.

"Er-" said Hermione Granger in a weird, high-pitched voice. "Well-er-hi."

The focus shifted from Potter to her in one unanimous wave.

"Well...erm...well, you know why you're here. Erm...well, Harry here had the idea-I mean I had the idea-that it might be good if people who wanted to study Defence Against the Dark Arts-and I mean, really study it, you know, not the rubbish that Umbridge is doing with us-" her voice cracked a bit, "-because nobody could call that Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"Hear, hear!" Anthony Goldstein raised his Butterbeer proudly.

Granger smiled dimly. "Well, I thought it would be good if we, well, took matters into our own hands," there were a few small choruses of agreement and she continued, slightly more heartened. "And by that I mean learning how to defend ourselves properly, not just in theory but doing the real spells-"

"You want to pass your Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. too, though, I bet?" Michael Corner (she thought that was his name) piped up, ever the little swot.

"Of course I do," she said without missing a beat. "But more than that, I want to be properly trained in defence because...because...because Lord Voldemort is back."

Marietta let out a shriek and spilled Butterbeer all down her front, multiple people flinched, Neville Longbottom let out a weird sort of yelp that he unconvincingly tried to turn into a cough. Even Ramona's eyebrows shot up on her forehead, she'd never thought she'd hear that name out of Granger's mouth, she was so used to the venomous spit that accompanied it when on her sister's lips.

"Well, that's the plan anyways," she fumbled a bit with the sleeves of her jumper. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to-"

"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?" A blonde Hufflepuff with a nose so upturned it was almost remarkable said rather aggressively.

"Well, Dumbledore believes it-" Granger began to explain.

"You mean, Dumbledore believes _him_ ," he nudged his head at Potter.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Both Ramona and Ron Weasley had said rudely in unison, flashing each other briefly surprised looks.

"Zacharias Smith, and I think we've got the right to know exactly what makes him say You-Know-Who's back."

She should've guessed it would turn into something like this, it would be a miracle if she could hold her tongue. She decided to focus on her Butterbeer as an attempt to hold back her temper which only lasted about half a second.

"Was Cedric's corpse not enough proof for you, then?" Her glass clattered loudly as she slammed it a bit too hard against a tabletop, Butterbeer sloshing over the brim.

"It's okay, Burke," Harry said softly, all eyes now on him. "What makes me say You-Know-Who's back? I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn't believe him, you won't believe me, and I'm not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone."

The silence was thick and heavy, only broken by Smith's disdainful voice cutting through again, "All Dumbledore told us last year was the Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory's body back to Hogwarts. He didn't give us details, he didn't tell us how Diggory got murdered, I think we'd all like to know-"

"If you've come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone, I can't help you," Harry said, eyes blazing, the tips of his ears faintly red. "I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory all right? So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out."

Nobody moved and it seemed as if the whole room was holding one collective breath, waiting to see what would happen next. Ramona's hand found Cho's again, giving it a small squeeze, and Marietta had slung her arm around her back, in silent support.

Granger cleared her throat, "So...like I was saying...if you want to learn some defence then we need to work out how we're going to do it, how often we're going to meet, and where we're going to-"

"Is it true," a girl with a long thick plait interrupted, (Ramona was starting to feel sorry for Granger), "That you can produce a Patronus?"

A few interested murmurs swept through the group, even Ramona sat up a little straighter.

"Yeah."

"A corporeal Patronus?"

"Er-you don't know Madam Bones, do you?" He asked as a smile split her face.

"She's my auntie, I'm Susan Bones. She told me about your hearing. So-is it really true? You make a stag Patronus?"

"Yes."

Ramona couldn't help but be a little bit impressed, there was many an adult wizard unable to cast the Patronus Charm, the fact that a fifteen year old boy could without having been officially taught it in school, was pretty astounding. The group rang with praises of Potter's capability, to which he looked mortified.

"And didn't you kill a Basilisk with that sword in Dumbledore's office?" Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw who'd had a very brief relationship with Delilah back in second year, said. "That's what one of the portraits on the wall told me when I was in there last year..."

"Er-yeah, I did, yeah."

Cho was beaming at him, awestruck, two young boys who must have been brothers were almost bouncing in excitement, and there were a few impressed whistles.

"And in our first year," Longbottom said quite loudly to Ramona's surprise, she didn't think she'd ever known what his voice actually sounded like. "He saved that Philological Stone-" ("Philosopher's," hissed Granger) "Yes, that-from You-Know-Who."

"And not to mention all the tasks he had to get through in the Triwizard Tournament last year-getting past dragons and merpeople and Acromantula and things..." Cho added in, still smiling at him, he only looked a little bit chuffed to be praised by her.

"Look," he said, and silence descended upon the group, "I...I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be modest or anything, but...I had a lot of help with all that stuff..."

"Not with the dragon," Ramona said. "Or with those Dementors."

He looked a bit embarrassed. "No, no, okay, I know I did bits of it without help, but the point I'm trying to make is-"

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" Zacharias Smith had made a grandiose and moronic return.

"Here's an idea," Ron Weasley said loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"

Smith was now red in the face. "Well, we've all turned up to learn from him and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it."

"That's not what he said," snarled one of the Weasley twins, the one that had bought the Butterbeers.

"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" The other pulled out a long and sharp looking metal instrument from one of their many Zonko's bags.

"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this."

Smith eyed it warily, paper-white, and shrunk back a bit in his seat.

"Yes, well, moving on," Granger looked a bit disturbed. "The point is, are we agreed we want to take lessons from Harry?" Sounds of agreement bubbled up from the group, even from the more reluctant of those in attendance. "Right, well, next question is how often we do it. I really don't think there's any point in meeting less than once a week-"

"Hang on," said Angelina Johnson. "We need to make sure this doesn't clash with out Quidditch practice."

"No, nor with ours," said Cho.

"Nor ours," said Smith, some colour having returned to his face.

"I'm sure we can find a night that suits everyone," she said, clearly getting a bit fed up with the constant interruptions. "But, you know, this is rather important, we're talking about learning to defend ourselves against V-Voldemort's Death Eaters-"

Ramona felt a few pairs of eyes dart to her and soured a bit. Honestly, she was just thankful nobody had kicked her out yet. Ernie MacMillan drew away any attention on her, rattling on about exams and how ridiculous it was that the Ministry would employ Umbridge to teach them defence.

"We think the reason that Umbridge doesn't want us trained in Defence Against the Dark Arts," said Granger tentatively, "is that she's got some mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he'd mobilise us against the Ministry."

Mouths dropped open in astonishment and Ramona almost laughed at the thought of Dumbledore leading an army of kids to attack the Ministry, marching in formation.

"Well, that makes sense," piper up Luna Lovegood, not looking remotely surprised. "After all, Cornelius Fudge has got his own private army."

Ramona did chuckle a bit at that, disguising it as a cough.

"What?"

"Yes, he's got an army of Heliopaths," she said solemnly.

"No, he hasn't," snapped Granger.

"Yes, he has."

"What are Heliopaths?" Longbottom asked blankly.

"They're spirits of fire," her eyes widened even more, looking like misty crystal balls, "great, tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of-"

"They don't exist, Neville."

"Oh, yes, they do!"

"I'm sorry but where's the proof of that?"

"There's plenty of eye-witness accounts. Just because you're too narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you-"

" _Hem, hem_."

Ramona whipped around in alarm, wondering how on earth Umbridge had managed to slip in unseen, only to realise it had been Ginny Weasley in an impeccable imitation of Umbridge, now laughing to herself. "Weren't we trying to decide how often we're going to meet and have defence lessons?"

"Yes," said Granger, regaining her composure. "Yes, we were, you're right, Ginny."

"Well, once a week sounds cool," said the Quidditch commentator, Lee Jordan.

"As long as-"

"Yes, yes, we know about the Quidditch," said Granger tensely. "Well, the other thing to decide is where we're going to meet..."

Everyone fell into deep thought, wracking their brains for any place that could suit a large group of kids meeting up in secret rebellion. Ramona thought first of the Forbidden Forest but quickly dismissed the idea, few would willingly enter the forest, they would definitely get in even more trouble if caught going there seeing as it was off limits and loud noises tended to attract unsavoury creatures that would love to snack on some little kids.

"Library?" suggested Katie Bell.

"I can't see Madam Pince being too chuffed with us doing jinxes in the library."

"Maybe an unused classroom?" suggested Dean Thomas.

"Yeah," Ron Weasley perked up, "McGonagall might let us have hers, she did when Harry was practicing for the Triwizard Tournament."

Ramona didn't interact with the Gryffindor Head of House much outside Transfiguration class but she couldn't see her allowing them to so blatantly go against Umbridge, especially considering she was now evaluating the professors and essentially held their jobs in her pudgy little fists.

"Right, well, we'll try to find somewhere. We'll send a message round to everybody when we've got a time and place for the first meeting," she dug through the contents of her bag and pulled out a long piece of parchment and a quill. "I-I think everybody should write their name down, just so we know who was here. But I also think that we ought to agree not to shout about what we're doing. So if you sign, you're agreeing not to tell Umbridge or anybody else what we're up to."

Several people exchanged dubious and less-than-happy looks at this prospect. Ramona practically leapt to her feet and cheerily scribbled down her name at the top of the page, before passing it behind her to one of the Weasley twins. Sneakily, she watched which name he signed, okay so the taller one was Fred...or was he actually taller or was George slouching? She supposed she'd never truly know.

"Er..." Zacharias Smith eyed the parchment the slouching twin was trying to hand him, "well, I'm sure Ernie will tell me where the meeting is."

However, Ernie Macmillan also looked to have his own reservations about signing. "I-well, we are _prefects_ ," she resisted the urge to mock him in a high-pitched voice, "and if this list was to be found...well, I mean to say...you said yourself, if Umbridge finds out-"

"You just said this group was the most important thing you'd do this year," said Potter dryly.

"I-yes, yes I do believe that, it's just-"

"You're a coward," Ramona finished for him, unable to help herself, "and a hypocrite."

"I-no-"

"Do you honestly think they'd just leave this lying around?" she said, suddenly aware that everyone was looking at her. "Either way, it doesn't specify anything, just a list of names for our study group."

He opened his mouth before quickly closing it again and mulling over his words, "No, of course not. I-yes, of course, I'll sign."

After that, nobody argued about signing their names, though Marietta hesitated and shot Cho a reproachful look. When finally, all twenty-nine names had been signed, Granger snatched up the parchment and slipped it back into her bag

"Well, time's ticking on," non-slouchy twin stretched and got to his feet. "George, Lee and I have got items of a sensitive nature to purchase, we'll be seeing you all later."

The rest of the group began to gather their stuff and leave in the twos or threes they came in, braving the biting cold outside. Ramona planned on making a beeline to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer that didn't taste like a goblin had pissed in it and to meet her sister who she hadn't seen in months.

"Burke?" Potter's voice sounded from behind her. "Can we...talk a second?"

Ramona glanced at Cho who lingered in the process of putting on her cloak, clearly wanting to stay, but Marietta's incessant foot-tapping seemed to be winning her over. She motioned for them to go on without her and closed the few feet of distance between her and the Chosen One. "You're not going to kick me out before the first meeting, are you? Because I'd have preferred you just told me straight off the bat."

"I-no," he squinted at her as if he was trying to figure her out, Granger and Weasley standing a bit behind him on either side, like sentries. "Why'd you come?"

"Simple," she said, mentally preparing herself for a cross-examination, "I hate Umbridge, you hate Umbridge, and I want to be ready to protect myself and my loved ones when Voldemort strikes back."

"So you believe me then?"

Ramona scoffed, sounding a little more condescending than she would've liked. "Obviously, he murdered my best friend and my parents tend to run with several of his acquaintances. Also, I don't believe everything the Ministry tries to shove down our throats, just because they're in charge, doesn't mean they're right."

None of them said a word for a few seconds, the only noise being the steady squeaking of the bartender still scrubbing the glass which only seemed to be getting dirtier.

"Right...thanks then."

"Eloquent and articulate as always, Potter," she smiled faintly. "See you three round."

With a lazy wave over her shoulder, Ramona set back out into the chilly autumn air, jogging to try and catch up with the others and trying not to over-analyse whatever had just happened and convincing herself that this wasn't a mistake.  
~~

Regina Burke was almost identical to her sister, the same dark skin and frizzy curls and the same dimple in her left cheek, but she was taller and more gaunt-looking, her face hollowed and carved out where Ramona still had some baby fat. But, the most distinctive thing about Regina was the scarred over, burnt flesh stretched tight across her right side, crawling up her neck and just tipping over her jaw. It aged her tremendously, the scar, and when she wasn't smiling, it made her look haunted. But when she caught sight of her little sister, arms hugged close to her sides, her face split into the brightest smile ever seen.

"Mona," she held her close to her chest, tightly, as if she were afraid Ramona might disappear, "Merlin, I've missed you."

"Whose fault is that?" They slid into a booth, still beaming.

"Mine, I know, I've been so busy."

Ramona took the Butterbeer already laid out before her and wrapped her hands around the mug to warm her frigid fingers. "With what, Gina? Your letters are so vague it sometimes makes me think you're hiding something."

Regina had never been very good at lying, especially when things were sprung upon her, emotions tended to rise up on her face, which meant she was terrible at card games. "I-well-I...promise you won't tell?" She leaned forwards over the table and lowered her voice.

"Cross my heart."

"I'm...I'm sort of, kind of, maybe working with a secret group of rebels trying to stop the Big Arsehole."

Ramona's eyebrows shot up an inch on her forehead though she was not particularly surprised, Regina was known for being reckless and stubborn and where Ramona was all words, Regina was all fists. "Well that's a coincidence, I just joined a secret group to stop our own local tyrant in a pink cardigan not thirty minutes ago."

"What a coincidence."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so long and little warning: I will be diverging from canon for the educational decrees since there's a big difference between books and movies I'm sort of blending them and I hope this doesn't make things too confusing.


	6. Ramona Joins an Army

**-October 1995-**

_BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS_   
_All student organisations, societies, teams, groups and clubs are henceforth disbanded._   
_An organisation, society, team, group or club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students._   
_Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge)._   
_No student organisation, society, team, group or club may exist without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor._   
_Any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an organisation, society, team, group or club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled._   
_The above is I'm accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-four._   
_Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor_

"She can't actually do this...can she?" Ramona stood at the front of the small crowd gathered around the notice board in the common room, the most recent 'Educational Decree' pinned up for all to read. "First she's discriminating against dyslexic students with that whole 'no spell-check quills' bullshit and now she's controlling our free time?"

"Does that include Quidditch?" Daphne asked worriedly.

"What about Frog Choir?" some third-year bellowed, raking his hands through his hair.

Ramona wondered who the rat was. There was no way this was a coincidence, that the very week after they'd all met up in Hogsmeade, Umbridge banned all student organisations, groups, teams and societies. Zacharias Smith, perhaps? But what would he gain from selling them out? Or one of those shifty looking Ravenclaws? Regardless, many would definitely point the finger at her, it would be the most logical answer in their brains.

Daphne was still wailing about Quidditch as they made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast, where there was a general gloomy mood about the students. So they'd all read it then. The hag herself sat at the teachers table, looking far too pleased with herself, her shiny High Inquisitor badge shining bright on her cardigan as she sipped a cup of tea. Potter was surrounded by a few of the Gryffindor members of their short-lived group, conferring in low but clearly panicked voices.

"This is ridiculous," Blaise was angrily stabbing into the butter with a knife, "what am I supposed to do about Book Club?"

"Quidditch, Blaise!" Daphne shrieked, tossing her hands into the air. "What about Quidditch?"

"Who cares about Quidditch, she'll have to reinstate that."

Cho was over at the Ravenclaw table with Marietta, both of them listening eagerly to Ginny before she darted down a few seats to Luna Lovegood. Cho swivelled around and beckoned Ramona over frantically with several not-very-subtle jerks of her head. Blaise and Daphne were still deep in their rant and she slipped away without either of them noticing.

"What is it?" she slipped in between the two girls, noting Marietta's visible irritation. 

"Things are going ahead as schedule."

"Potter said this himself?"

She smiled softly. "Yeah, isn't he just so brave?"

"Only the bravest," she said, "or the stupidest. And _that's_ something I can get on board with."  
~~

Daphne perked up later that day after Umbridge granted the Slytherin Quidditch team permission to re-form, Draco waving about the little slip of parchment before Potions, the Gryffindors looking particularly sour about this as his rant dissolved into snide remarks about how they wouldn't be allowed to keep playing.

"I mean, if it's a question of influence in the Ministry, I don't think they've got much chance. From what my father says, they've been looking for an excuse to sack Arthur Weasley for years.," he glanced over at the Gryffindors a few times to check that they were listening, "and as for Potter, my father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St Mungo's, apparently they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic."

Ramona opened her mouth, a retort halfway up her throat, when Neville Longbottom tried to charge past her, heading straight for Draco with a war-cry. Potter caught him by the back of his robes as he struggled, red-faced, nose scrunched up, fists flailing as if he hoped one might catch Draco if he swung wildly and fast enough. She'd never seen him so angry before, in all the years of torment, not once had he ever retaliated, not like this. Maybe this had been the thing to tip him over the edge.

Crabbe and Goyle flexed their fists and got low, ready for a fight but Weasley seized Longbottom by the arms and the two boys managed to haul him back towards the side of the dungeons the Gryffindor were crowded against, most looking as shocked as Ramona felt.

"Not...funny...don't...Mungo's...show...him..." he spat through gritted teeth.

Before the situation could get worse, the door opened and Snape swept down the steps, taking in the scene with mild pleasure glimmering in his eyes. "Fighting, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom? Ten points from Gryffindor. Release Longbottom, Potter, or it will be detention. Inside, all of you."

She debated defending them but very quickly decided against it, it would only result in a shunning from her friends and the docking of House points, Snape didn't care. Instead, she followed Delilah into the classroom and almost had a heart attack when the metal of the High Inquisitor badge caught the dim light in a far corner. She was literally the stuff of nightmares.

Ramona found herself distracted from the Strengthening Solution she was supposed to be finishing, mind far off, wondering why Longbottom had done what he'd done, borderline obsessing over it. Delilah caught her hand before she accidentally added a bat wing into her potion, which was definitely not needed, the fourth mistake she'd almost made, not even twenty minutes into class. What was wrong with her?

Umbridge quietly took notes for the first half hour before getting bored and digging up Snape's repeated failures at getting the Defence Against the Dark Arts position and making some vague comments about 'backgrounds'. She might have been entertained had she not hated Umbridge infinitely more than Snape.

Muggle Studies was thankfully Umbridge-free and she'd gotten an Outstanding on her essay about the social habits of British muggles, but right after was Defence Against the Dark Arts, where there was no chance of escaping her. Ramona managed to keep her mouth shut by skilfully dozing off while they were meant to be reading Chapter Three of _Defensive Magical Theory_ , the most effective solution to her temper so far as she got through the class without so much as rolling her eyes.

Unfortunately, her week only got worse, the next day she couldn't find her little bag filled with Sugar Quills and all the girls in her dorm swore up and down they hadn't seen them, in fact, they all thought she was overreacting tremendously. She double and triple-checked every classroom she might have dropped them in and scoured the floor of the Great Hall before dinner to no avail. She was starting to wonder if Millicent had actually nabbed them from her bag as she was having no success in finding them in the library when an airy voice spoke from behind her.

"Are you looking for your Sugar Quills?" Luna Lovegood peered at her with those impossibly wide eyes from over the top of her father's magazine, curled up in one of the armchairs. "You know, they put addictive enchantments on them before they mass produce them so people buy more of their products? Daddy did a whole article about it a few months ago, it was very informative."

"I wouldn't be surprised, it's a common tactic used by Muggle producers but they use chemicals, it's really clever actually, if unethical," Ramona said. "How'd you know I lost them?"

Luna bookmarked her page and carefully tucked the magazine between her hip and the side of the armchair. "I thought I saw some Nargles flitting about you...and I also saw them fall out of your bag yesterday."

Not bothering to ask what a Nargle was, Ramona decided to focus on the missing Sugar Quills problem. "Why didn't you tell me if you saw it happen?"

"Well, you were shouting really loudly at your friend and you didn't hear me when I called after you."

She briefly recalled ranting very loudly at Delilah about how the Ministry had tried to cover up the Clodbury Riots. "Do you know where they are then?"

"Yes," she said proudly, puffing out her chest a bit.

Ramona waited a few seconds for her to elaborate but Luna just continued to stare at her with her pale eyes. "Can you-where are they exactly?"

"Well, I put them in my bag to give to you later but then I put them in my nightstand and then I put them in the left-no-right pocket of my robes and then-"

"Where are they _now_?"

Luna paused and thought for a second, eyes glazing over. "I'm not too sure, actually, probably the Nargles up to it again, they took my left shoe last week, found it floating in the lake the next day."

Ramona felt the familiar rise of anger in her throat, frustrated and worried that she was actually going into Sugar Quill withdrawal because she was way too emotionally invested in finding them but shouting didn't seem like a very productive or effective method of solving her problems so she swallowed it and breathed deeply for a few seconds.

"Okay...okay...I suppose we should go looking for them then, retrace your steps," Ramona said, cracking her joints. "Come on, Luna."

A dreamy smile eased onto her face as she tucked her magazine into her bag and hopped to her feet. "I definitely had them when I was up on the roof."

"Why-what-you know, I'm not even gonna bother asking."

The pair of girls scoured the castle, starting at the roof (which Luna actually did know how to get up on, surprisingly) and working their way down, on a serious time crunch as curfew drew nearer. There was no sign of them on the stairs or in Luna's dorm or behind that statue of Gregory the Smarmy where Luna often apparently hid things. Ramona wondered if someone had stolen them from Luna, her things often went missing and it seemed far more likely that it was malicious teenage girls rather than Nargles or any other mystical creature or spirit that no one other than the Lovegoods had ever heard of.

After an hour and having reached the ground floor of the castle without having found her Sugar Quills, Ramona sank down to the ground against the wall, the hope draining from her body with every inch she fell. How was she supposed to get her fix now? There wasn't another Hogsmeade trip for ages and even if Regina were to send on some in the post, she'd have to wait a few days for them and Bacon was hardly a reliable courier. The world was a cruel, terrible place and sometimes she wondered why she even bothered.

"Oh..." Luna's eyebrows shot up on her forehead as she slowly pulled a hand out of the inner pocket of her robes. "Seems like the Nargles put them back in my pocket...odd, they never do that. They must really like you!"  
~~

Later that week, Cho came sprinting up to Ramona after lunch one day, grinning from ear to ear. This seemed to becoming a bit of a pattern but Ramona much preferred this to Cho's breakdowns which had lessened in their frequency as of late. Whether Potter had anything to do with it, Ramona wasn't sure, but if he did she couldn't be more grateful.

"Ginny says Harry wants to meet tonight, eight o'clock, seventh floor opposite that tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and those trolls, told me to tell you."

Ramona's brow furrowed. "But there's nothing opposite that tapestry, we can hardly do it in the middle of the corridor, we're literally asking to get expelled."

Cho shrugged. "He just said you'll be able to find it...trust him, Mona."

She sighed and debated whether it was worth the effort and risk of getting in serious trouble. "Fine, I've come this far, might as well plow on to the end of this stupid plan."

"That's the spirit!"  
~~

Ramona slipped out of her dorm at half seven that night, claiming she was off to hang out with Cho, which was not really a lie, just an understatement, trying to look as inconspicuous as she could, not like she was on her way to a secret illegal Defence club. She narrowly dodged Filch patrolling the second floor (although it was perfectly fine for her to be out, fifth years didn't have to be back until nine), ignored the portrait of the warlocks who asked where she was going in such a hurry and safely made it to the seventh floor without incident.

The tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy getting clubbed to death by trolls was one of the oldest in the castle, half-faded and moth-eaten and stretched about seventeen meters across the wall. Usually, the wall opposite this tapestry was empty and completely blank, or so she'd thought. Somehow, in all the years she'd passed that wall, she'd never noticed the massive polished door with ornate brass handles that glistened in the torchlight.

Ramona knocked twice, just in case this wasn't the right place and was actually a private bathroom or an office or something and in only a few seconds the door swung open and she found herself staring at Harry Potter, looking the least gloomy she'd seen him all year.

"Nice place, Potter," she said as he let her into the room. "Where'd you find it, I never knew this place existed?"

The room was wide and circular, lit with flickering torches, walls lined with fully-stocked bookshelves, some holding Sneakoscopes and Secrecy Sensors and there were little piles of silk cushions on the floor, many of which was occupied by the other members, chatting excitedly amongst themselves in little groups, or reading in Granger's case. She hadn't a clue how they'd put all of this together in such a short space of time, it was so perfect.

"Dobby told me."

"Who's Dobby?" The door shut behind her with a click.

"This House Elf I know."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

She took the empty cushion by Cho and Marietta and watched the rest arrive, struck with awe as they looked around. When finally everyone was there and seated on the little cushions, Potter locked the door and moved to stand in front of them, the whole group having fallen silent.

"Well," his voice quivered a bit, "this is the place we've found for practice sessions, and you've-er-obviously found it okay."

"It's fantastic!" said Cho, many nodding alone with her or making general sounds of agreement.

"It's bizarre," said one of the twins, though neither were slouching now and she didn't know how to tell them apart. "We once hid from Filch in here, remember, George? But it was just a broom cupboard then."

"Hey, Harry, what's this stuff?" Dean Thomas pointed at all the trinkets at the back of the room.

"Dark Detectors," he stepped around them and made his way to a giant mirror swirling with fog. "Basically they all show when Dark wizards or enemies are around, but you don't want to rely on them too much, they can be fooled..."

There was a weird tension in the air after he said that with a far-off look in his eyes as he stared into the misty mirror. A Foe-Glass, she knew, her parents had one at home though they'd only gotten it for decorative purpose before Regina stole it when she left home to pawn it off for money. They hadn't even noticed its absence.

"Well, I've been thinking about the sort of stuff we ought to do first," said Potter to break the brief silence he'd created, "and-er-what Hermione?"

Granger lowered her hand. "I think we ought to elect a leader."

"Harry's leader," said Cho, almost looking offended that anyone would dare suggest otherwise. Marietta and Ramona shared a look of raised brows and pursed lips.

"Yes, but I think we ought to vote on it properly," she paid little mind to the outburst. "It makes it formal and it gives him authority. So-everyone who thinks Harry ought to be leader?"

Every hand flew up, even that of Zacharias Smith, though he looked less than pleased about it.

Potter's face was burning. "Er-right, thanks. And-what Hermione?"

"I also think we ought to have a name," she said brightly. "It would promote a feeling of team spirit and unity, don't you think?"

Ramona had never envisioned herself as part of a group with either a strong team spirit or unity and it felt extremely weird to think that this wasn't just a bad trip.

"Can we be the Anti-Umbridge League?"

"Or the Ministry of Magic are Morons Group?"

"I was thinking," Granger had rolled her eyes at both suggestions, "more of a name that didn't tell everyone what we're up to, so we can refer to it safely outside of meetings."

"The Defence Association?" said Cho. "The DA for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about?"

"Yeah, the DA's good," said Ginny Weasley. "Only let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army, because that's the Ministry's worst fear, isn't it?"

Ramona laughed. "Amen to that."

"All in favour of the DA?" Most hands flew up, the owners bearing excited grins. "That's a majority-motion passed!"

Granger took the sheet with their signatures and pinned it against the wall to write down their new name in capital letters across the top. Things were starting to feel really official, no longer just a little act of rebellion against a dictating teacher but an actual movement against injustice.

"Right," Potter said, smiling faintly, "shall we get practising then? I was thinking the first thing we should do is _Expelliarmus_ , you know, the Disarming Charm. I know it's pretty basic but I've found it really useful-"

"Oh _please_ ," came Smith's nasally tone. "I don't think _Expelliarmus_ is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?"

"I've used it against him," Potter's voice went quiet but dark and he looked at Smith with such venom Ramona felt a chill run down her spine. "It saved my life in June. But if you think it's beneath you, you can leave."

Smith didn't move and the room collectively held a breath.

"Okay, I reckon we should all divide into pairs and practice."

Everyone clambered to their feet and began to head off in their pairs. Ramona looked to her left to already see Marietta dragging Cho off by the sleeve and once she realised neither would be an option, she began to look for Luna but spotted her already off with Ginny Weasley. She approached a few others but they expertly skirted around her to find their friends. Soon it was only her and Neville Longbottom without partners.

They stared at each other for a few moments, the two meters between them feeling more like kilometres, in dreaded silence. There was no way that this would end well.

"Sorry," she said eventually, looking anywhere but at him, "I know I'm your last choice for a partner but..."

"No, it's...it's fine."

It was not fine. They walked to an empty space, fiddling with their wands, refusing to look at each other. Ramona had never been outright cruel towards Neville Longbottom but for many years she'd stood by and watched her friends torment him and call him names without doing much about it. Sometimes she even laughed if it didn't seem too harmful. It was almost embarrassing how she'd never thought of things in that way before, how she'd been so stupid and self-involved and completely void of empathy.

She wondered if she should apologise, right all her wrongs now to avoid unfortunate 'accidents'. She could think of so many different ways something could go wrong, a bunch of students in one room, all firing defensive (and not-so-defensive) spells at one another with no licensed professional to watch over them to make sure they didn't kill each other. But how was she just supposed to bring that up without it being extremely awkward and forced? Fuck it, if she didn't do it now, she never would.

"I just-"

" _Expelliarmus_!"

Ramona's wand flew out of her hand and went scattering across the floor like a pebble over the surface of a lake, realising far too late that in her internal monologuing she hadn't heard Potter's countdown before they were to begin.

"I did it!" Neville looked as surprised as she was. "I've never done it before-I DID IT!"

She couldn't help but laugh with him. "Nice one, I don't think anyone's ever gotten me that good before, you're ruining my reputation, Longbottom."

Okay, so maybe she'd worked herself up a bit too much about all of this, he didn't seem like he wanted to murder her and that, in her books, was a definite plus.

The kids spent their time firing Disarming Charms against each other, getting more and more invested in it, Potter walking around like an actual teacher, giving pointers and tips to help out. While Ramona still wasn't his biggest fan, she had to admit that he was really in his element. Before they knew it, it's was ten past nine and there was a sudden scramble and panic upon realising that they were past curfew.

They scrambled out the door after agreeing to meet again next week at the same time and the same place, in their twos and threes, Potter checking a large map every so often before letting them off. Ramona was left at the end with Potter, Granger and Weasley as he "made sure there's no teachers on the way to the dungeons" as if any map could tell him that.

"Thanks, you lot," she said sincerely. "Not just for giving me a chance to rebel against the Ministry but...I actually had fun, haven't been having a lot of that recently."

Ron Weasley squinted at her a bit and for a split second she was worried that he was going to say something nasty to her. "You're alright, Burke."

She placed a hand over her heart. "Such kindness, bless your soul, Weasley."

Ramona made her way back down to the Slytherin common room with no run-ins with Filch or teachers, taking the long way back like Potter had advised her, still riding a bit of a high from the excitement of it all. However, she was surprised that when she got back up to the dorm, Delilah was staring straight at her, back straight as a pin.

"Where'd you go, Mona?" Her voice was dangerously soft, the way it often got before she started yelling, like she was warming up.

"I told you before I left, I was hanging out with Cho, we just lost track of time," she began to take off her robes to seem as casual and nonchalant as she could, an actress, Ramona was not. "Honestly, it's a long way from Ravenclaw Tower to the dungeons."

"Really, Mona?"

"Really, Del."

Delilah's stony face crumpled. "I'm sorry, I just don't want you getting in trouble again. I know how badly you want to but don't, for your health and my sanity, that woman is mad, don't push her. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff's getting fun my dudes get ready for more fascist rules and Ramona being a dumbass


	7. Ramona is Surrounded by Fascists

**-October 1995-**

The DA meetings went on for the next two weeks with the same level of success as the first. In fact, things only seemed to be getting better, people had stopped giving her suspicious looks every time she spoke, she'd mastered the Reductor Curse which she'd always struggled with and she had become acquaintances with Neville Longbottom. Even if she wasn't so widely hated anymore, they still tended to be the only two left partner-less and were therefore stuck together. She had been ready for weeks of awkwardness and uncomfortable tension but surprisedly, he was pretty chill once he'd hit her with a few jinxes and she'd spent a weird five minutes aggressively complimenting his toad. They were far from best friends for life but he no longer flinched every time she walked in the room and that had to count for something.

The only problem with the meetings was their irregularity. Having to work around the schedules of three different Quidditch teams, which were also irregular due to the ridiculous weather they'd been having of late, made finding one set day and time impossible. Luckily, in true Granger fashion, she'd found a solution, a fat gold coin, identical to a Galleon, in which the numerals around the edge changed to show the time of the next meeting.

"The coins will grow hot when the date changes, so if you're carrying them in a pocket you'll be able to feel them," she held one up to the light. "We take one each, and when Harry sets the date of the next meeting he'll change the numbers on his coin, and because I've put a Protean Charm on them, they'll all change to mimic his."

A stunned silence followed her words. That was an advanced spell and they weren't due to learn it until seventh year and even then it was one of the more challenging ones that rarely came up in exams.

"Well-I thought it was a good idea..." she said, looking a bit dim as she held the basket of fake Galleons to her chest. "I mean, even if Umbridge asked us to turn out our pockets, there's nothing fishy about carrying a Galleon, is there? But...well, if you don't want to use them-"

"That's not it, Granger," Ramona cut in before things got worse, "they're impressed. The Protean Charm is still advanced at N.E.W.T. level, you've stunned them without even having to cast _Stupefy_."

"Oh...well...yes, I suppose it is a little advanced," her face brightened considerably. "So, does this mean we're using the Galleons?"

~~

_The tension in the crowd was palpable, even if the champions couldn't be seen, this was the final task and so far things had been pretty neck-and-neck between Potter and Cedric and everyone was desperate to see who would come out victorious. Fleur Delacour had been first out, having shot a shower of red sparks into the air about an hour in, a signal of surrender, and was escorted out of the maze shaking and pale. Viktor Krum didn't last as long as many had expected, also being taken out after surrendering not long after Fleur. So it was just between the two Hogwarts students. Even with their guaranteed success, the student body was restless and full of anticipation._

_Ramona was sitting at the very edge of her seat, lips bitten raw, Cho's hand clutched tightly in hers as they silently cheered Cedric on. He was the perfect example of what the champion should be, humble, kind, patient, selfless, ambitious, the list was endless. In her mind, it shouldn't go to the already famous, over-hyped, not even properly qualified Boy Who Lived._

_There was a sudden crack and two people landed in front of the entrance to the maze, the Triwizard Cup gleaming in the moonlight. The crowd sprung to their feet, cheering wildly, the applause thunderous. But Ramona knew something wasn't right. Why wasn't Cedric moving? Was he hurt? She began to push her way into the aisle and made her way down, Cho not far behind her, confused. A hand caught her by the shoulder, trying to stop her. Harry Potter was sobbing through words that she couldn't make out, clutching onto Cedric's unmoving chest...his eyes were wide and open and blank._

_For a second, all noise vanished and her sight grew fuzzy before everything came back at once, hitting her head-on like a train. Ramona pushed off the hand holding her back and managed to make her way down to the lifeless body of Cedric Diggory. His father was there, cupping his face which was splattered with tears and blood. Ramona just stood there, staring down at him, unable to breathe._

_Then, he stared back. He stood in front of her, warm and colourful and alive, the crowd and the maze melting away and leaving only the two of them. She blinked rapidly a few times to try and dispel the image of his body from her mind. He was fine, he was right in front of her, smiling, but...he still wasn't breathing. His chest wasn't moving. He wouldn't even blink._

_"Ced, what's going on?"_

_He just stared back, looking eerily like a wax statue._

_"What are you doing?"_

_No response. She wondered if he was playing another weird joke on her again, a muggle one, even if she definitely wasn't finding it funny._

_"Cedric!"_

_She might have imagined it but she thought he looked sad for a second, despite his fixed smile._

_"Cedric, please talk to me!"_

_She made to grab him by the arms, to shake him back to her but when she tried, her hands moved through him like a mist. It wasn't like with a ghost, there was no sudden cold sensation and for a few moments, he shimmered and began to dissipate like morning fog before it swirled back together to make him whole again. Ramona tried again, to take his hand in hers, but again, she made no contact._

_"Cedric!"_

~~

Ramona was surprised that when she opened her eyes, she was staring the the emerald green canopy over her bed instead of Cedric's body. She sat up, slowly realising that she must have had a nightmare, that hadn't been how the day actually played out though she was unsure if this was worse. She rubbed at her eyes to clear them, only to find that her face was wet. Had she been crying or had Delilah tried to wake her up with a surprise _Auguamenti_ again?

"Morning!" Daphne peered at her around the door of the bathroom.

"Merlin!" Ramona had not expected any of the girls to be up already, it was still dark outside and the Slytherin girls were notoriously Not morning people. "You're up early, Daph, couldn't sleep?"

"No," Daphne looked almost offended. "It's the first Quidditch match of the year and we were so cruelly deprived last year so I'm going all out with the face paint."

Ramona blinked at her a few times. "How many hours did you think you'd need to put on a few stripes?"

"It's not that simple, I need to account for different shades of green and silver, which best would compliment today's ensemble and then I need to decide whether I'm doing horizontal or vertical or diagonal or even if I am doing stripes or-"

"Fine, fine, point proven, I'll never question your judgement in regards to this fine art form ever again."

Ramona slipped out of her bed as Daphne disappeared back into the bathroom and began to get dressed, pushing the painfully vivid image of Cedric out of her mind. Making sure she had the little Galleon Granger had handed out, she headed downstairs, wondering what that day's Daily Prophet headline would be and if it would infuriate her more than the last.

Despite the early hour, the Great Hall was pretty full, everyone had sorely missed Quidditch and all teams wanted to properly scope out what they'd be up against this season. Most were decked out in red and gold, making Ramona stick out like a sore thumb in her green jumper and the little stripes on her cheeks that Daphne had forced upon her, and the topic on everybody's lips was the match.

What was odd to her was that seemingly everyone at the Slytherin table bore a little silver pin in the shape of a crown and stared at her as if it was her fault for missing the memo. She dismissed it as a new trend she'd either forgotten about or completely blocked out, sat down amidst the chaos and tried to silently enjoy her toast, praying that the Daily Prophet owl would hurry up so she could drown out the noise.

"Did you not get a badge, Mona?" Daphne loomed above her, her whole face painted green and silver. "They were handing them out in the common room."

"What are they?" she sighed. "We've already got banners and scarves and hats, why do we need badges too? Bit of a waste, if you ask me."

A little smile tugged at Daphne's lips and she dug a handful of the badges out of her pocket, scattered them across the table for Ramona to read what was etched across the little crown.

_Weasley is our King._

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not wearing that, Daph," she pushed them away from her and began to butter another slice of toast. "First of all, they look cheap, second of all, it's just a pitiful _Potter Stinks_ wannabe, third of all, it's actually sad that you all invested time into making these just to take the piss out of Weasley."

Daphne would have looked rather intimidating had her face not been so ostentatiously painted. "Don't suddenly start acting all high and mighty, Burke, it's not a good look on you."

She gathered her badges back into her arms as a massive jeer rose from their table, Potter and Weasley after entering the Great Hall. Ramona watched them make their way to the Gryffindor table, Weasley looking ready to projectile vomit at any second, the green tint of his face clashing with his hair. She could only hope this was him after seeing the badges, if not, Gryffindor was in for a hard defeat. She wanted to do something but she couldn't think of a single way of going about it without getting herself in a lot of trouble. What only made things worse was when Draco came down and began handing out sheets of parchment to little clusters of students which they would then immediately begin pouring over.

"Draco," she called as he went to pass her by, "what're those?"

He looked her over briefly. "The chant for the match today...where's your badge?"

"They're tacky, I wouldn't be caught dead in one," she leaned across the table and snatched the top piece of parchment on his pile and began to read.

 _Weasley is our King,_   
_Weasley is our King,_  
 _He always lets the Quaffle in,_  
 _Weasley is our King._

 _Weasley cannot save a thing,_   
_He cannot block a single ring,_   
_That's why Slytherins all sing:_   
_Weasley is our King._

_Weasley was born in a bin,_   
_He always lets the Quaffle in,_   
_Weasley will make sure we win,_   
_Weasley is our King._

_Weasley is our King,_   
_Weasley is our King,_   
_He always lets the Quaffle in,_  
 _Weasley is our King_.

It was like a Reductor Curse hitting a bag of dog shite, or more simply: not good.

"Pretty clever, huh? We wanted to put in a few verses about his fat mother and loser father but we ran out of time."

"It's juvenile, degrading, offensive and cruel," she scrunched the parchment up into a tight ball and resisted throwing it at him.

"That's kinda the whole point, Mona."

Without a single thought of the shunning she would get for this stunt, Ramona snatched the ball of parchment off the table, stood up, and made a beeline for the Gryffindor table. All she could think about was how hypocritical she would be if she let this happen, if she didn't at least try to stop it.

"Where are you going?"

She raised her middle finger over her shoulder without looking back. Cho had tried to catch her as she stormed past and DA members turned to look at her in panic, terrified she was about to blow their cover, a Slytherin willingly associating with Gryffindors was far too suspicious. This was such a bad decision, she knew it, but she was doing it anyways.

She approached Harry Potter where he sat talking with Luna, a life-size lion head mounted atop her own which swayed precariously ever time she moved her head even slightly, Weasley sat beside him, staring despondently into his empty bowl of cereal, reevaluating all his life decisions. She tossed the scrunched-up lyrics at Potter.

"Read those, I'm going to try and stop it."

Weasley looked up and tried to read over Potter's shoulder but was nudged away as the famous Boy-Who-Lived turned to look at her. "Did you know about this?"

"I just found out this morning, it's embarrassing how much effort they've all put into this."

He almost looked worried. "What are you going to do, Burke?"

"I just told you," she was already walking away, "I'm going to stop it, you don't need to know how exactly I plan do do it, keep him distracted and don't let him hear."

"Burke!" he called but Ramona was already out the door.   
~~

"But Professor this is literally mass bullying!" she gestured frantically at another copy of the lyrics she'd laid down on Professor Snape's desk.

"This is nothing more than a bit of friendly competition, Miss Burke," he slid the lyrics back across the desk. "Now, I'd advise you get back to the stands to cheer on your team."

She tried to stop the shout that rose in her throat. "Professor this is-"

"Not my problem," he cut in sharply. "Get back to the stands before I have to deduct points for wasting my time."

With a low growl in the back of her throat, she took the lyrics and stormed out of his office, brain flooding with all the various ways this could end up in disaster. The match was sure to be starting soon, the corridors were empty and she could hear the hum of the crowd heading down to the pitch outside. She didn't exactly have very many options.

She sprinted up and away from the dungeons, heading towards the staff room, praying that she could catch McGonagall before she left for the stadium. Just as she was approaching the door, it opened and she almost collided headfirst with whoever had come out. She had hoped it would be McGonagall herself or pretty much any professor other than Umbridge.

"Miss Burke, why am I not surprised?" Umbridge fixed her High Inquisitor badge with a huff. "You're in violation of Educational Decree Number Two, no running in the corridors so I'm afraid I'll have to deduct ten points from Slytherin."

Ramona grit her teeth. "I'm looking for-"

Umbridge held up a hand to stop her. "If you don't apologise Miss Burke I'm afraid I'll also have to give you detention."

" _I'm sorry_ ," she all but spat back. "I'm looking for Professor McGonagall, is she in there?"

Umbridge pursed her thin lips suspiciously. "Pray tell, what business do you have with Professor McGonagall that cannot be handled during class time?"

"My business."

"I don't like your tone, Miss Burke," she flashed a sickly sweet smile. "I'll ask again and I advise you to be careful with your words, what's your business with Professor McGonagall?"

Ramona really didn't have the time for this but couldn't find any way around this that wouldn't wind her up in detention or even worse. "It's in regards to slanderous material targeting a student on the Gryffindor team."

"What 'slanderous material' is it you speak of, dear?"

Ramona fixed her with a look, knuckles turning ashy around the ball of parchment. "You'll find out soon if you don't let me see Professor McGonagall!"

"By Educational Decree Number Ten, students may not unnecessarily raise their voices, Miss Burke!"

"I see it as necessary!" Ramona fired back, digging her grave deeper and deeper. "If I have to shout to get my point across I am more than willing to do so!"

"Detention, Miss Burke!" a vein in her forehead twitched though her smile widened. "All next week, same time, same place, same punishment, it's clear you have not learnt from your mistakes and it's only right that I drill the message in deeper. It's for your own good, Miss Burke."

Though the words on the back of her hand had faded some time ago, she almost felt them sting at that. She really should have known better than to provoke Umbridge like that. Why did she even care so much? It was just a stupid little song, it wasn't even good, no harmonies or anything. Maybe this was self-sabotage.

"Please, Professor," she said in the calmest, most even tone she could muster, "where is Professor McGonagall?"

"I'm afraid she's already left for the match, dearie."

Well that was a massive waste of time and energy. Ramona turned on her heels and began to march down the hall towards the still open doors. She wouldn't have much time, barely any, but if she legged it, she might have a chance of stopping it. McGonagall always sat in the commentator's box so she wouldn't be hard to find and then she'd just have to-

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To the match," she didn't stop walking, she even sped up as the clacking of stubby heels followed after her.

"Miss Burke you must have misunderstood me if you believe I would let you go down to the match after you've completely disregarded not one, but two of my Educational Decrees and been so blatantly disrespectful," her breaths grew short and wheezy.

Ramona stopped and turned to face Professor Umbridge. "You can't do that."

"I can and I am," she was almost doubled over. "My office, Miss Burke, now. You will serve your first detention now, my special quill is out on the desk and I trust you know how to use it by now."

The air seemed to grow colder around her and for the first time in a while, she wanted to cry about something other than Cedric. "Okay."

"Good girl," Umbridge began to waddle away before stopping after a few metres to turn and say: "And Miss Burke? If I find your work unsatisfactory, I will not hesitate to keep you until I am, understood?"

"Crystal clear."  
~~

_I must not talk back_

Ramona could hear the muffled tune from the Quidditch Stands, it rose in volume every so often, she assumed whenever Slytherin had scored. Her emerald green scarf lay discarded on the floor, she wasn't feeling much House pride at the moment.

_I must not talk back_

She glared venomously at the picture of Cornelius Fudge and Umbridge mounted on the wall behind the desk, the pair of them smiling down at her mockingly, fascists did tend to stick together.

_I must not talk back_

She was tempted to write something foul, or even do a crude drawing but that would definitely get her expelled unless her parents stepped in, not everyone had such a great sense of humour as her.

_I must not talk back_

The singing outside had stopped, instead replaced by several screams and the shrill blowing of Madam Hooch's whistle. Maybe Dementors had crashed the game again and if she was lucky they'd go for Umbridge.

_I must not talk back_

She wiped some of the blood off her hand using one of Umbridge's lace doilies before plopping it unceremoniously on her desk as a nice little present for later.

_I must not talk back_

There was no more singing, or screaming, and with a glance out of the window, she could see people filing back up to the castle in little groups.

_I must not talk back_   
_I must not talk back_   
_I must not talk back_

The door opened with a creak. Umbridge stood in the doorway, a satisfied little smirk on her wind-whipped face.

"Who won?" asked Ramona.

"You made that inspiring chant out to be a lot more mean-spirited than it was, Miss Burke," she sat in her chair opposite Ramona. "I thought it was a lovely display of creativity and House unity-let me see your hand."

She presented her hand, trying not to wince as Umbridge poked it and grinned.

"The message is really sinking in now," she patted it sharply two times.

"If you mean scarring, then yes."

"What was that, dearie?"

"I said thank you, Professor."

"You're dismissed for tonight."

Ramona trudged back down the corridor, inwardly whining at how much of a distance was between Umbridge's office and her common room, it was actually ridiculous. At least she was getting in a bit of a leg workout while she was at it, the Hogwarts stairs were killer. She supposed she'd have to accept this as her new life now, at least until Umbridge inevitably expelled her.

The common room was empty when she got there but soon started filling up and before she knew it, Blaise and Daphne were at her side, eyes wide. This was not a rare occurrence, the pair loved scandal and even more than that, they loved telling Ramona because she didn't care and wouldn't tell anybody, but something about the fact that everyone had that same look in her eyes made her feel like she was out of the loop of some big drama. They dragged her over to the couch by one of the glass panels, a few Grindylow darting past and began shedding their extra layers in the comfortable heat of the common room.

"Where were you?" Daphne demanded. "I hope I didn't actually upset you this morning because I didn't intend that at all I just thought that you were maybe over-"

"No," Ramona stopped the oncoming rant, "I actually got stuck in detention."

They looked confused but brushed it off. "It's fine, we'll get back to that later," said Blaise.

"Gryffindor won, quelle surprise," Daphne said lowly, "and Draco was pissed about it because we were in the lead until Potter caught the Snitch, so he started just spewing insults at Potter and maybe the Weasleys, I don't know we couldn't hear-"

Ramona rolled her eyes. "What's new, Daph?"

"I was getting to it!"

"Anyways," said Blaise, leaning in closer, "Potter and one of the Weasley twins lose the rag and start attacking Draco and like everyone was screaming-"

"I missed a scrap?" Ramona whined, she wished she hadn't said all that shit and got herself landed in detention. "Between Draco and Potter, no less? This is literally worse than detention."

"Would you let us finish?"

"Fine, sorry."

"So Madam Hooch breaks up the fight but Draco broke his nose and is lying on the ground, looking like an actual corpse and Potter and Weasley were sent up to McGonagall," Daphne spoke faster, "and now, rumour is, they're banned from Quidditch, permanently."

Ramona did a double take. "McGonagall would never do that-"

"But Umbridge would," said Blaise dryly. "Apparently she's in charge of all punishments in Hogwarts now, Educational Decree Number Twenty-Five, signed by Cornelius Fudge himself."

After a brief shock, not knowing whether to be angry or still in disbelief, Ramona glanced down at the back of her hand where the words were still etched in. "We're all screwed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye said ye wanted more Umbridge drama and I delivered


	8. Ramona Publicly Humiliates Herself

**-November 1995-**

_Dear Ramona,_   
_I am writing to you to express my disappointment and appall at your behaviour as of late. It is of my understanding that you have been particularly unwelcoming to your mother and I's good friend, Dolores Umbridge. We have been lenient towards many of your questionable and often insulting choices these past few years but publicly siding with Harry Potter and opposing the Ministry is where we draw the line. We understand that you are a teenager and that you look up greatly to your sister but these actions are not the same reckless yet harmless stunts Regina once pulled. What you are doing could get you, and us, killed, I'm sure I need not go into any more details. Keep your head down and your mouth shut, you're better seen and not heard._   
_Richard Aaron Burke._

Ramona almost laughed as she glanced over the letter again. Not once in all her years at Hogwarts had either of her parents ever written her which meant that they were actually scared. She'd guessed as much over the summer, they were even more absent than usual, were always off for what they claimed were meetings, often spoke to each other in low, shaky voices in the dead of night, and both had started to go grey. This letter was basically confirmation that they were, or at least affiliated with, the Death Eaters.

She folded up the letter and tucked it into her pocket and continued to eat her cereal as if nothing had happened and it was just a regular Sunday morning. The words on the back of her hand hadn't faded yet so she cleverly wore a sweater she'd nabbed years ago from Blaise that was far too big for her and covered her hands, she figured it would soon have to become a staple in her closet considering she still had a week of detention ahead of her and was worried it would actually scar this time.

Despite her efforts to keep quiet (for the first time in her life), Delilah knew, she'd spotted it while they brushed their teeth the night before and was now glaring at Ramona's hand, not having so much as touched the cup of tea placed in front of her, ignoring Draco who was dramatically recounting the attack on him at the game yesterday while Pansy cooed and fussed over him.

"The lake's frozen over," Ramona said casually, poking Delilah with her foot underneath the table to make sure she heard, "we can go skating on it later."

"Is that safe?" Pansy peered over.

"Of course not, but we should do it before Umbitch bans it."

Delilah met her eyes and she did not look amused. "Don't do it, Mona, you're in enough trouble as it is."

She thought of the letter in her pocket, any more stunts could get her and her parents killed, a small voice inside her told her to see how far she could push it while her hand screamed that enough was enough, she had to lay low. "Ice skating isn't illegal...yet. I want to have fun and I'm fully prepared to argue my way out of another situation."

"What if you fall in and drown?" Draco said through a mouthful of egg that Pansy had fed him like a toddler, he was still playing up his injury in typical Draco fashion, despite Pomfrey having said he was perfectly fine.

"Then I'll be dead, what do you think?" she snapped and rose to her feet. "So, who's coming?"

None of them stood. She suspected some were still a bit angry about her blatant betrayal yesterday with the song and the badges but she'd thought fun games in the freshly-fallen snow might've righted her wrongs with them. Clearly not, if their dour faces were anything to go by.

"Fine, stay inside and be miserable," she swigged the last of her tea and began to set off. "It's all any of you are good for anyways."

Ramona went back to her dorm, shrugged on her heavy winter cloak, a woollen hat that she just managed to squeeze over her curls and gloves, ready to brave the snow outside. Ice skating wouldn't be as much fun on her own but she was now determined to go through with it, for no reason but for the sake of proving herself right.

It was colder than she'd anticipated, despite her many layers and briefly she debated just going back inside to tackle her mountain of homework considering she'd be wasting her evening in detention but then she remembered how embarrassing it would be to have to eat her words and stepped onto the frozen lake. One of the many great things about being a witch was that she didn't even need those bladed shoes muggles used to ice skate, surely she could cast a simple Glisseo charm on the soles of her shoes and be off with ease. At least, in theory she could.

After casting the charm, she lowered one foot down towards the frozen surface of the lake, the voices of her friends echoing around in her head, spite flooding her very being.

"Burke!"

In shock, Ramona's foot slipped the second it touched the ice, sending her sprawling onto her back with so much force that the ice cracked underneath her. She was plunged into the shallow, icy water with a scream. She didn't think she'd ever felt so cold in her life, it completely engulfed her, seeping through her clothes and skin, seeming to take hold of every muscle. Maybe this hadn't been so much of a good idea.

~~

Ramona had only been in the Hospital Wing a few times before then, once in third year to laugh at Draco and his 'devastating injury', again that same year after Peeves smashed an ink bottle over her head and once last year after breaking every bone in her hand for punching a statue (not her finest moment she'd admit) yet it always looked the exact same, the rows of neatly-made bed separated by blank screens, the perfectly polished cabinets of medicines and the stone floor so shiny that it reflected the light.

She sat on one of the beds, her wet clothes dumped in a pile on the floor, wrapped in several heavy blankets while Madam Pomfrey tried coaxing her into swallowing one of her nasty potions. Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood (who was failing at hiding her grin) and Neville Longbottom sat in the seats around her bed, none quite knowing what to say while Pomfrey yelled at her.

"Completely and totally idiotic!" she stuck another vial of Pepper-Up Potion into Ramona's hand. "What stupidity possessed you to do something like that? In all my years here there have been few injuries more ridiculously caused than this!"

Ramona avoided her furious gaze, feeling even worse as her ears started to smoke violently. "I was trying to prove a point, didn't work."

"Oh you think so?" Pomfrey said sarcastically, with wide eyes.

A little giggle escaped Luna's mouth.

"This isn't funny Miss Lovegood!"

"It was kinda funny."

"Wow," Ramona said dryly, "I really admire and appreciate your concern for me, Luna, thanks."

Pomfrey glowered. "Had you not been pulled out so quickly Miss Burke, you could've died."

Ramona wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to respond to that. "Okay..."

With a huff, Pomfrey turned on her heel and began to storm back into her office.

"Can I go?" No answer came. "I'm just gonna leave then."

Ramona slipped off the bed, still smoking at the ears, and took her pile of soaking clothes from where they'd been left on the floor. She couldn't remember how to dry them without setting them on fire so she supposed she'd have to leave in the pyjamas she'd been given that were about four sizes too big on her. The other three followed her out, Luna trying desperately to stifle her laughs.

"What were all of you doing outside anyways?" Ramona asked as they all walked down the hall, receiving some odd stares. "Hardly just waiting for me to embarrass myself?"

"No," Longbottom looked at her sheepishly, "we were looking for Trevor."

"Your toad?"

He nodded. "I lost him again, haven't been able to find him all morning, starting to get really worried."

"He'll turn up eventually, he always does," she said. "I lose my stuff all the time too but I find them most of the time, what did you say was taking them again, Luna?"

The young girl beamed brighter than Ramona had ever seen. "Nargles!"

"Yeah, those, maybe Trevor's off with them for a bit."

He looked doubtful but smiled nonetheless. "Thanks."

She gave him a taut smile as they reached the stairs. Ramona would be heading down to go to her common room while the others were planning to head back out and look for Trevor but as she readjusted her hold on her clothes, Ginny Weasley let out a little gasp and grabbed Ramona before she could bolt. "What's that on your hand?"

Ramona felt as if she'd been dunked in ice water all over again. "Nothing."

Luna took up her hand and held it close to her face before Ramona snatched it back and held it close to her chest. "What does that mean? 'I must not talk back'?"

"Exactly what it says," she snapped and began hastily walking down the stairs to the dungeons, not having expected them to follow her.

"Who did that to you?"

"Why would they do that to you?"

"Have you told Dumbledore?"

She picked up the pace a bit.

"Is it like a tattoo?"

"No Luna, it's clearly a scar."

Ramona stopped in her tracks and the three behind her almost crashed into her back. "It's Umbridge's idea of detention, justice, in her eyes."

"That _has_ to be illegal," said Longbottom, pale-faced and slightly trembling.

"It's not," she snarled. "Ministry has given her jurisdiction over all punishments at Hogwarts, whatever she sees fit, so long as she can squash Dumbledore's power and spread Ministry propaganda. They're using fear and terror against anyone who doesn't agree with them to silence them."

There was a horrified silence between the others, broken only after a long, very loud croak came from Ramona's feet. "Trevor!"

~~

Ramona had never been the biggest fan of Rubeus Hagrid or of Care of Magical Creatures in general but she found herself genuinely looking forward to another one of his eventful classes after she'd seen him return to the staff table that morning, black and blue with bruises. While Grubbly-Plank was great for following the course, she wasn't nearly as fun or dangerous.

That Tuesday brought about the first Care of Magical Creatures class of the week, Ramona trudged down with Delilah through the snow, wondering what dangerous creature they would encounter that day. She was worried, for a second, that Umbridge would be there to spoil the fun but there was no sign of her when they arrived, only half the class and a very bruised Hagrid with a dead cow slung over his shoulder. His grin was broad despite his ominous appearance and the wariness of many of his students.

"We're workin' in here today!" He gestured behind him to the Forbidden Forest which looked more threatening than usual. "Bit more sheltered! Anyway, they prefer the dark."

Draco, who stood a bit behind her gulped audibly. "What prefers the dark? What did he say prefers the dark-did you hear?"

"Lots of terrifying, bloodthirsty creatures," Ramona dropped back as they ventured into the trees, grinning, "Vampires, Acromantula, Lethifolds, or maybe he's got another Hippogriff."

"That's not funny!"

The poorly-hidden smiles on the other students' faces begged to differ.

Hagrid led them deeper into the forest, the light growing dimmer the further they ventured. After a bit, he held up a hand to stop them, looking quite excited. "Ready? Right, well, I've bin savin' a trip inter the Forest fer yer fifth year. Thought we'd go an' see these creatures in their natural habitat. Now, what we're studyin' today is pretty rare, I reckon I'm probably the on'y person in Britain who's managed ter train 'em."

"And you're sure they're trained, are you?" Draco said loudly, slowly growing paler. "Only it wouldn't be the first time you'd brought wild stuff to class, would it?"

A few people seemed to agree, even some reluctant Gryffindors who were still sour towards him for getting three of their best Quidditch players kicked off the team.

"'Course they're trained," Hagrid scowled, twisting his bruised face to make him look even more intimidating.

"So what happened to your face, then?" Malfoy demanded.

"Mind yer own business!" Hagrid snapped. "Now, if yeh've finished askin' stupid questions, follow me!"

"Must be really vicious to be able to do _that_ to Hagrid," Ramona whispered to Draco, suppressing the rising giggle in her throat.

They followed the hulking man into the Forest, some more warily than others, and walked for about ten minutes until the reached an area where the trees clumped closely together, blocking out most of the light from above without even a speck of snow on the ground. With a grunt, Hagrid dumped the dead cow on the ground a few feet in front of him and turned to face the class.

"Gather roun', gather roun'," he encouraged at the sight of their pale faces, wondering if they'd soon be attacke. "Now, they'll be attracted by the smell o' the meat but I'm goin' ter give 'em a call anyway, 'cause they'll like ter know it's me."

He turned and gave a chilling shriek that echoed through the trees, making all the hairs on Ramona's neck stand on end. He sounded like some twisted, monstrous bird. The class held their breath in terror. He gave the call again. Nothing answered, the trees were still. He shrieked for a third time. Her head whipped around at the sound of rustling leaves and watched as a blank-eyed, bat-winged, skeletal, black horse emerged from the trees.

She relaxed somewhat, recognising this as one of the creatures that pulled the carriages up to the school as it tore a chunk out of the cow flesh on the ground. It seemed, however, that she was one of the few could could see it, most were looking around in terror, eyes passing over the giant horse. The only others who seemed to see it were Potter, Theodore Nott (who watched it with distaste) and to her surprise, Neville Longbottom.

"Oh, an' here comes another one!" Hagrid pointed just ahead of them where another of these skeletal horses emerged, dipping its head to eat. "Now...put yer hands up, who can see 'em?"

Ramona raised her hand, not tearing her eyes off the horses. She'd wondered why nobody had ever commented on them before.

"Excuse me," Draco sneered, "But what are we meant to be seeing exactly?"

Hagrid pointed at the half-eaten cow on the ground and a few students screamed as they watched chunks of flesh disappear into thin air.

Ramona leaned over to Draco again. "Invisible rabid vampires, you can't see but there's one staring right at your pretty little neck."

"You're lying," he said but he flicked up the collar of his robes, eyes flitting about anxiously.

"What's doing it?" Parvati Patil shrieked, backing away as fast as she could. "What's eating it?"

"Thestrals," said Hagrid proudly, puffing out his chest. "Hogwarts has got a whole herd of 'em in here. Now, who knows-?"

"But they're really, really unlucky!" Patil said again, now almost behind a tree. "They're supposed to bring all sorts of horrible misfortune on people who see them. Professor Trelawney told me once-"

Ramona had never been particularly superstitious and she hadn't been inclined to believe the waffling of Professor Trelawney since she'd watched her having an argument with a plate of roast potatoes.

"No, no, no, tha's jus' superstition, that it, they aren' unlucky , they're dead clever an' useful! Course this lot don' get a lot o' work, it's mainly pullin' the school carriages unless Dumbledore's takin' a long journey an' don' want ter Apparate-an' here's another couple, look-"

Ramona watched as more entered the clearing, Patil screaming as she thought one brushed up against her. Truthfully, they looked very ominous but they hadn't attacked them yet which she was taking as a good sign that they were trained as Hagrid claimed.

"Righ', now, who can tell me why some o' yeh can see 'em an' some can't?"

To nobody's surprise, Granger raised her hand. "The only people who can see Thestrals are people who've seen death."

Ramona supposed that made sense, she'd watched one of her family's House Elves die after her uncle had killed it with such a strong Reductor Curse that there was nothing to bury but the tip of a bat-like ear, and Potter had seen Cedric die, she thought she remembered Theodore talking about watching his mother die but she had never thought that Neville Longbottom had once seen death. Now that she thought back to it, he, like her, had been more than a bit freaked out when they'd watched imposter Moody cast the Unforgivable Curses on those spiders.

"Hem, hem."

Brilliant, a creature more disturbing than bat-winged, eyeless horses of death. Umbridge stood at the edge of the group in a green cloak and hat, making her look like more of a toad than usual. When Hagrid didn't take notice of her, she gave her fake cough again.

"Oh, hello!"

"You received the note I sent to your cabin this morning?" She spoke in a very slow, carefully enunciated voice, as if she was addressing someone recently Confunded or like one of those condescending people talking to someone with little English. "Telling you I would be inspecting your lesson?"

"Oh yeah, glad yeh found the place all righ'," he said brightly, lacking experience with Umbridge's foulness. "Well, as yeh can see-or I dunno-can yeh? We're doin' Thestrals today-" 

"I'm sorry?" She cupped a hand around her ear. "What did you say?"

Ramona braced herself for another shitshow.

"Er-Thestrals, big-er-winged horses, yeh know!" He flapped his arms like wings as Umbridge began frantically scribbling on her clipboard.

"Has...to...resort...to...crude...sign...language."

"Well, anyway," Hagrid looked confused. "What was I sayin'?"

"Appears...to...have...poor...short...term...memory."

Ramona wondered how long it would be before Umbridge had Hagrid sacked, and they'd be back to doing boring, non-life threatening creatures. Draco, on the other hand, was beaming with excitement. The class went on this way, with Umbridge interrupting every so often by twisting the meaning of his words and writing them down in her review, Hagrid getting more and more flustered with each one, her speaking to him even more slowly and now with sign language, and Pansy and Draco having a silent fit of laughter. After a while she moved amongst the students, asking them questions, sticking mostly to the Slytherins.

"Do you find," she asked Pansy, "that you are able to understand Professor Hagrid when he talks?"

Pansy was trying and failing to suppress her giggles. "No...because...well...it sounds...like grunting a lot of the time..."

Ramona rolled her eyes and elbowed Delilah in the ribs as she snickered.

"Er...yeah," said Hagrid, having heard every word, "good stuff abou' Thestrals. Well, once they're tamed, like this lot, yeh'll never be lost again. 'Mazin' sense o' direction, jus' tell 'em where yeh want ter go-"

"Assuming they can understand you of course," said Draco, dissolving into laughter again.

Umbridge grinned at this and moved towards Longbottom, who looked at her, eyes darting at Ramona's gloved hand and gulping. "You can see the Thestrals, Longbottom, can you?"

He nodded numbly.

"Who did you see die?"

"My...my grandad."

"And what do you think of them?" she waved her hand around the clearing, indicating the Thestrals themselves.

"Erm...well, they're okay."

"Students...are...too...intimidated...to...admit...they...are...frightened," she muttered along with what she wrote on her clipboards.

"No!" said Neville, suddenly looking upset. "No, I'm not scared of them!"

"It's quite alright," she patted him on the shoulder with an extremely condescending smile.

Before she could stop herself, Ramona spoke. "Well, I can see them too and I think they're magnificent!"

"Is that so, Miss Burke?"

"It is so, why in my opinion, they are the most elegant, beautiful and intelligent creatures I've ever seen! Hagrid must be extremely talented to have not only tamed them but befriended them, you heard him yourself, he's the only person in Britain who's managed to train them."

She curled her lip into a sneer. "Well, wild beasts do tend to take better to other wild beasts."

~~

November 21st brought heavy snow, the deadline for their Potions essay, and Ramona's sixteenth birthday. As usual, she was first awake and was glad to find no surprises in the dorm or down in the common room and she safely made it down to the Great Hall without any nasty surprises. Nobody said a word to her during breakfast and all she got in the post was that morning's Daily Prophet and a bunch of little jars of tea leaves from Regina with a singing card that she'd incinerated before it could get two notes out, sparing her any embarrassment.

Delilah muttered a 'Happy Birthday' and slid over a wrapped parcel as she came late to Charms. Inside Ramona found the emerald green cloak she'd been eyeing up the last time they went to Hogsmeade, and a worn Muggle novel with the words ' _Animal Farm_ ' written on the front. She folded the cloak carefully around the book and slipped them into her bag. "Thank you, Del, where'd you get the book?"

She smiled tiredly. "Bullied a first year into giving it to me, I also wanted to have a party but Pansy's still pissed at you."

"What did I do this time?"

"You gave Draco a funny look, apparently."

"Delusional."

Later that day, Blaise gave her a bunch of his old clothes so she wouldn't have to steal them anymore, Cho got her a little locket with a picture of them and Cedric, Daphne replenished her supply of hair care products and Pansy reluctantly gave over an album filled with pictures, dating all the way back to when they were little kids, having tea parties while their parents had meetings together.

That night, she was supposed to have a DA meeting and was hoping Cho wouldn't make a big deal out of it being her birthday, she didn't think she'd ever recover from the embarrassment. She was a bit late, having had to pry herself away from the others who actually wanted to spend time with her for once and when she finally arrived at the meeting she apologised quietly.

"It's fine," Potter said. "Happy Birthday by the way."

She gave him a suspicious look. "How do you know?"

"Er-Cho told me."

"Of course she did," she sighed and made her way over to Longbottom who was practicing with Ginny and Luna in her absence. "I'm so sorry I'm late, was a bit preoccupied."

"Happy Birthday!" Luna squealed, accidentally sending her wand flying six feet into the air.

"So Cho told you too, huh?"

Luna shook her head, bottle-cork jewellery clinking together. "I sense a change about you...also I saw you getting presents at breakfast and lunch."

"We didn't have much time..." said Ginny Weasley nervously as she went rooting through her bag.

"...But you're always eating them," Longbottom chimed in as he was handed five bundles of neatly wrapped Sugar Quills.

She took them gingerly from them. "I don't know what to say..."

"'Thank you' is usually appropriate in these situations," Luna had retrieved her wand.

"Thank you, all of you, I'll have them all lost by tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, I really hate transcribing but sometimes it's necessary


	9. Ramona is the Worst Wingwoman

**-December 1995-**

Ramonawasn't sure of much but she definitely knew that she could not spend Christmas at her parents' house that year. The letter from her father was proof that they were tangled up with the Death Eaters and she couldn't risk them trying to get her involved too because one could not simply leave the Death Eaters and live to tell the tale, that just wasn't how things worked. So, she wrote to Regina, begging her to let her spend the break with her instead of having to wallow in the castle with Umbridge and generally just having a miserable Christmas. Finally, after a week, Bacon returned with her reply.

_Mona,_   
_Are you mental? Of course I'd love you to spend Christmas with me! It's about time, I've only been waiting for you to ask for the last_ _three_ _years. I will warn you that my apartment is tiny and you will be sleeping on the couch and also you won't be allowed to leave on your own, Knockturn Alley is full of shady people who know how to cover up a murder_ _very well_ _. Also, don't be expecting a Christmas feast or anything, if you're lucky we might be able to get muggle takeout or somethin_ _g if they're open. If not, you'll have to risk food poisoning from my attempts of cooking._   
_Love you,_   
_Gina._

Ramona couldn't help but grin at the idea of having Christmas with Regina again. Christmases with the Burke's tended to be spent on her own while her parents made the circuit of parties and dinners which they hadn't brought her to in many years, afraid she'd say something that would get them in trouble. However, it was infinitely worse when distant relatives came for Christmas. Her mother's family were fine, if a bit elitist, they always gave great gifts and had revolutionary tips on ways to further your career but her father's family were...odd to say the least.

For starters, there was her uncle Alexander who had become a total social recluse, driven half-mad after a stint in Azkaban for reasons nobody seemed to want to tell her, and then there was her grandmother, who hadn't spoken in thirty years and had no less than twenty-two house elves despite her living on her own. Now that she thought about it that side of the family seemed to have a shady background with House Elves. The worst of all of them, however, was her father's younger sister, she believed quite staunchly in the idea that children (especially those with conflicting opinions to her own) should be neither seen nor heard, hence, whenever her and Ramona were in the same room, things tended to get messy.

"Are you going to Draco's Christmas party?" said Pansy excitedly one evening in the common room, having forgiven Ramona for whatever reason she was mad about before. "We'll have the house to ourselves because his parents are going out for a few days so it'll be brilliant."

"No," said Ramona casually, "I'm spending Christmas with Gina."

"Your sister?" Pansy's lip curled slightly, Regina had left a bit of a stain on Slytherin's reputation when she'd been at school. 

"Yeah, it's been a while and my parents are pissed at me at the moment," Ramona stared into the dying fire. "Don't try to say they're in the right, I'm not in the mood tonight."

Pansy frowned. "Fine, they're just worried about you though, so are we...Mona...think about the long-term consequences for your actions, openly supporting Mudbloods and-"

Ramona stuck her fingers in her ears and began to hum as loudly and obnoxiously as she could, childish though effective; she'd just have to wait for Pansy to give up.

"You could-"

Ramona added lyrics to her not-so-harmonious tune. " _Ignoring Pansy because she's full of shit._ "

"Mona-"

" _Bigotry sucks, discrimination sucks, burn the Ministryyyyy._ "

Pansy rolled her eyes and got out of her armchair in a huff, hastily stuffing all her homework into her bag. "Fine I'm sorry for bothering you with my friendship and concern!"

"Goodnight!"

~~

Ramona was much earlier to the last DA meeting before Christmas break than she normally was, Delilah having passed out from eating far too many sticky toffee puddings at dinner, and she was surprised to find the room fully decorated with bright tinsel and garlands. Potter was in there alone, tearing down strings of golden baubles with his own face reading ' _Have a Very Harry Christmas'_. He looked down at her evil grin in dread and said lowly: "Please don't tell anyone about these."

"I think they're lovely, very festive and with a personal touch," she laughed, picking up one string from the pile of the floor, baubles clanking against each other as she did so. "Do you mind if I keep some? As a Christmas present?"

He gave her a withering look but sighed. "Fine, I wasn't going to do anything with them."

"Brill, these'll be worth a fortune in twenty years, limited edition Harry Potter Christmas decorations, one of a kind..."

"That reminds me," he hopped off the step stool and jogged over to his bag in the corner and dug around for a few minutes, finally pulling out an odd little trinket and placing it in her palm, "your Christmas gift."

It looked a bit like a troll's attempt at making a crystal ball, looking more like a crystal egg but it was it filled with fog, it was clear and inside looked to be thin little wires. As she tapped it with a nail she found it wasnt crystal either, it was very thin glass.

"What is it?" she turned it around before holding it up to her eye to peer at the wires inside, also magnifying Potter's face before her, elliciting a small snort.

"A muggle lightbulb," he said. "The Dursley's gave it to me for Christmas but I've got no use for it and I know you like Muggle stuff...it's not much but I thought you'd like it..."

She'd heard about lightbulbs in Muggle Studies, how they were used to supply their houses with light and how they ran on electricity but she'd never seen one in real life, only pictures. She thought it was all quite genius. For some reason, this little object, useless to her, made the back of her eyes sting.

"This is..." Ramona trailed off, trying to blink back her tears. "This is...thank you, Potter."

Awkwardly and quite stiffly, Ramona wrapped her arms around him and actually hugged him. She could hear a mini Delilah in her head screaming bloody murder. "Sorry I didn't get you anything..."

"It's a lightbulb, Burke, hardly anything spectacular," he hugged back, patting her gingerly as if he'd never hugged anyone before.

"Shut up, I like it," she sniffed and drew away, carefully stowing it into her bag.

Soon the room started filling up with the other DA members, many stopping to comment on the decorations. Cho came with Marietta at her side, hair done in an elaborate braid but her eyes looked bloodshot and tired. Nonetheless, she smiled at Ramona before turning to gaze dreamily at Potter while Marietta rolled her eyes, descending into an even worse mood than usual.

"Okay," Potter called loudly once they were all there. "I thought this evening we should just go over the things we've done so far, because it's the last meeting before the holidays and there's no point starting anything new right before a three-week break-"

"We're not doing anything new?" Zacharias Smith whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear, to nobody's surprise. "If I'd known that I wouldn't have come."

"We're all really sorry Harry didn't tell you, then," said one of the Weasley twins loudly (she still couldn't tell which was which).

"We can practice in pairs," said Potter (Ramona and Neville caught each other's eyes and smiled). "We'll start with the Impediment Jinx, for ten minutes then we can get out the cushions and try Stunning again."

The room divided up into their usual pairs while Potter walked amongst them, observing and walking past Cho far too many times to just be a coincidence. Neville's improvement was nothing short of incredible, he'd managed to freeze her almost every time, except once when his spell had actually hit Potter while he walked behind her. She told him so as they brought out the cushions to practice Stunning.

His wand fell through his fingers as she relayed her thoughts to him. "You really think so?"

"Yeah," she bent down to pick it up and hand it back to him, "it's terrifying how much you can improve with a competent teacher, just goes to show that it's not you that's the gormless lump."

"Thanks, but I'm still not as good as everybody else," he said lowly.

Ramona scoffed. "I'm sorry did you not see Smith's own spell backfiring on him not five minutes ago? Or Bones chip her own tooth?"

He let out a short-lived laugh. "Thanks Burke."

The Stunning spells went even better, though Neville had missed her once or twice (his wand had a tendency to do that) and before they knew it, the hour was up and they had to head back to their dormitories. It felt kind of sad that they wouldn't be meeting for another three weeks but the prospect of Christmas and Potter's promise of teaching them Patronuses helped a bit to ease this.

People left in their staggered groups, wishing each other Happy Christmases and saying goodbye while Potter tidied up the cushions in a suspicious slow manner, as if he was stalling, insisting on doing it himself. Ramona checked her bag to make sure her lightbulb was safe before leaving but when she went to say goodbye to Cho she noticed her arguing in low tones with Marietta. They were some of the only people left at that point and nobody else seemed to spot this.

"Just go on without me," Cho was insisting.

"I don't want to go back on my own!"

"Please, Mari, I just want to wish Harry a Happy Christmas."

Marietta scoffed loudly. "You could do that now, Cho."

"Ow!" Ramona threw herself dramatically onto the floor, careful not to land on her bag in the process. "Somebody help me-not you Potter-anybody, help me!"

Cho rushed over to her side and bent down. "Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing, Mona?"

"Yes!"

"Go on, Marietta, I'll bring her up."

" _Goodbye_ , Marietta," Ramona forced trying to convey the hint through eyebrow movements alone as she was supposed to be in a great deal of pain.

Marietta sniffed and tossed her curls before stomping off, leaving only Ramona, Cho and Potter in the room. Once she was sure Marietta was gone, Ramona sat up and gathered her things. "How weird, I feel completely fine now so I suppose I'll just go, is that mistletoe? Merry Christmas you two!"

And with that, Ramona fled from the room as if she was aflame, barely fighting off a satisfactory grin as she silently congratulated herself on her superb wing-woman skills.

~~

Cho sat across from Ramona as they sped past fields and hills blanketed in white snow towards London, dabbing at her eyes and cheeks every few seconds as she retold the events of last night after she'd left her and Potter alone. Marietta was wedged in the corner, not quite scowling but not looking particularly pleased about any of this either.

"And I-I couldn't stop myse-myself," she said between little hiccoughs, "I k-kissed him."

"That's brilliant, Cho," Ramona squeezed her hand, "you've been wanting to do that for months now and you were under mistletoe and everything! It's so romantic!"

She only sobbed harder. "B-but I wa-was cry-crying!"

"I'm sure Potter understands," she moved so that she was sitting next to Cho, an arm over her shaking shoulders, "he knows himself how much you're suffering and I'd hope he'll understand that you're a bit confused, he's not a complete idiot."

"What i-if I r-ruined it? I think h-he's avoiding me..."

Ramona shot Marietta a pleading look, to help in the way Cho always claimed she did, to not be an asshole for ten minutes.

"If Harry can't get over a few tears, he's not worth your time," she said heatedly.

Cho sighed. "I th-thought he really liked me."

"He does," Ramona said, "he's just a dumb little nerd and doesn't know what to do."

" _He_ doesn't know what t0 do?" Cho dabbed at her cheeks. "But he's fought You-Know-Who so many times and he's really taken charge this year and then last year at the Tournament! Not to mention the fact that he was the youngest Seeker in a century and how funny and sweet he is...I can't imagine a world in which Harry Potter doesn't know how to ask _me_ out."

"Did you not hear the part where I said he's a dumb little nerd?"

~~

Regina wasn't hard to spot amongst the din of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, having pushed all the way to the front of the crowd and holding a massive homemade banner which read ' _WELCOME HOME MONA_ ' with a poorly-drawn illustration of Ramona's face. Normally, she might have been embarrassed by this display but any twinge of mortification was overwritten by her excitement to spend Christmas with Regina for the first time since she was twelve.

Her sister hadn't changed much since she last saw her in October, if a bit more tired and worn, curls frizzy and tangled but her smile was just as bright and twice as infectious. When Regina caught sight of her she let out a shrill squeal and bounced happily on the spot.

Ramona dropped her trunk and Bacon's cage (which sent him into a frenzy) and caught her sister around the middle, holding her close and not really wanting to let go. They'd always been close but now that she knew for sure that she was cutting herself off from her parents, Regina was the only family she had left and for some reason that thought made something inside her twinge and want to hold on tighter. Finally, they broke apart with identical grins and Ramona took up her trunk and cage, giving a hushed apology to Bacon.

"So," Regina said, helping her with their bags as they pushed their way to the exit, "what's the sca? Any breakups? Any fights? Any more detentions?"

Ramona thought of all that had happened since the start of September, or rather everything that had changed and her head started to ache. "Nothing I haven't told you already besides an update on the Cho and Potter situation, I'll fill you in on that over dinner."

"Speaking of dinner, you want Chinese or pizza?"

"I'm thinking Chinese for tonight."

They made their way to the magical door through to the Muggle train station, which would be bustling as ever with Muggles in their funny clothes, talking in their weird little bricks, but just before hey we're about to cross the barrier, Ramona spotted Neville Longbottom standing before a severe-looking woman who was trying to straighten his hair, his face burning red. She thought for a second about saying goodbye, wishing him another Merry Christmas but embarrassing him even further didn't seem like much fun anymore so she grasped her sister by the arm and slipped silently through the barrier of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, I've been pouring a lot of my creative energy into writing a D&D campaign for my friends so this has been on the back-burner for a week or two


	10. Ramona loses her Christmas Spirit

**-December 1995-**

"Why are you staring at me like that, Gina?" Ramona said over their pitiful breakfast of burnt toast and a rubbery egg. "It's really starting to creep me out."

"You're happier," her sister said softly, not giving much explanation.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ramona said. "Of course I'm happy, I'm not stuck at school with Umbitch or our bigoted parents for three weeks."

Regina shook her head, sending her curls splaying. "No, you look happier than I've seen you in years, Mona, you haven't smiled like that since you were a kid, after winning arguments against Aunt Florence or when we'd sneak down to the sweet shop down the road...it's just been a while."

Ramona looked up at her, not quite sure what to think about that. She just thought it was odd, especially as this was proving itself to be one of the most emotionally stressful years of her life. Dealing with Cedric's death, Cho's trauma, the return of Voldemort, the ever-growing distance between her and her friend group, Dolores Fascist Umbridge, it was too much. And yet, now that she thought about it, she felt lighter and thinking about everything wrong with her life didn't immediately give her a migraine. What this all really meant though, she didn't know.

Regina cleared their plates and left them to clean themselves in the sink while she fixed her deep purple robes and pulled back her curls, leaving her scar on full display. "Hey, you'll have t be extra quiet today, some not very nice people are coming over in a bit and I would prefer they not know about you."

"I'll be quiet as a mouse," she threw herself down on the couch/her bed and picked up a book, "I'll read all day."

"Okay, just no audible reactions this time, I had to write you off as my overexcitable cat last time."

"Fine, I won't," she watched her sister unlatch the trapdoor and lower herself down through it into the shop below, "be safe!"

Ramona locked the trapdoor as she heard the soft noise of Regina pinning up a tapestry to hide the upstairs entrance. This had become daily routine over the Christmas break and she'd learned not to think oddly of it anymore, it was for both of their protection and to maintain Regina's cover. Despite the dull, lonely hours of treading lightly, trying to find something to do in the little apartment, it was turning out to be one of her better Christmases. Sure, she felt a bit like a stowaway but she was with Regina, and that was all she could've hoped for.

She read from seven until noon, only stopping when an owl stopped by with a letter for Regina. This happened often but she wasn't allowed to go near these letters, "sensitive information, not for the eyes of little kids" Regina called them. Ramona suspected these were from other people in this rebellion she'd mentioned as every night, she'd spend hours writing replies to these letters, making sure her little sister was far from eyeshot.

At one, she usually started to make herself some lunch, as silently as she could manage but that day, it seemed as though something was happening in the shop below. She jumped as she heard a sickening crack and loud but muffled voices. Slowly, she lowered the kettle she was about to boil for her tea and crept towards the trapdoor, pressing her ear close to the floor, trying to hear past the thundering heartbeat in her chest. As she did so, the whole flat shook violently, sending bookshelves crashing down, shattering several plates left out on the dining table and jolted Ramona back so suddenly that she whacked her head off the floor and let out a scream of pain.

The noise from below was silenced as quickly as one would snuff out a candle until loud, heavy footsteps clomped their way closer to Ramona's hiding spot. Eyes wide, she scrambled to her feet and began a beeline to the fireplace, hopping over the smashed glass coffee table. Regina had sat her down her first day there to discuss in depth how to escape from the flat if she had to. Ramona had laughed at this at the time, having thought her sister had lost her reckless nature and was actually maturing somewhat but as the lock on the trapdoor rattled as someone from underneath tried to ram it up with sheer strength, she felt like a fool.

With shaking hands she snatched up her unfinished Charms homework and ripped off a chunk of parchment at the bottom. The trapdoor gave another jolt and rattle, the sound of arguing drifting up to her. She scribbled three words on the torn parchment before throwing open the curtained window where thankfully, the owl from before still rested and thrust it towards him. It looked at her curiously as she desperately wracked her brain for the address her sister said every night as she sent off her letters.

"Grim...fuck...Grimmer-no...Twelve, Grimace-I don't know!" She shouted, voice cracking as she heard a blood-curdling scream from below. "Wherever you bring all the other letters!"

This seemed to be enough instruction for the owl as in one movement it took to the skies. As Ramona darted next for the smashed pot of floo powder by their fireplace, upset by all the banging and shaking, she heard the dreaded sound of the lock sliding open from across the room and a shriek of pain. She watched in horror as someone pushed the trapdoor up and looked around for her nearest weapon. Moving towards her entering intruder, Ramona grabbed their measly Christmas tree, a naked looking thing, barely taller than her and decorated with a few trinkets, pine needles sticking painfully into her palms and brought it down, star first, through the open door. Hoping that this would buy her enough time, she dug around fragmented pieces of the broken ceramic pot, trying to scrounge up enough powder for one trip, cutting up her hands even further.

With the sound of a loud curse, she watched as their Christmas tree shot back up through the door, now smoking. Not far behind it, a figure emerged, a man she'd never seen before, his face smeared with blood that still seemed to be streaming from his crooked nose. At the sight of her, he bared his bloody teeth in a mangled sort of grin and she felt as if she'd been plunged into an ice-cold lake. Another person popped up by his side, a very tall woman with sharp angular features and slicked back hair which made her look like some kind of bird of prey.

"Another rat," the bloody man said, approaching her with heavy thuds, slowly raising his wand, "I wonder if you'll scream like the one downstairs did."

Ramona had never really understood the idea of the fight or flight response before, it made sense but she'd never truly gotten the instinct that drove it until she found herself on her feet, desperately trying to wrestle with a fully grown armed man, a weird energy pushing her on as she sunk her teeth into his hand as hard as she could, tasting the sharp tang of blood. He yelped in pain and pushed her back roughly, holding his hand tight to his chest.

In the few seconds she'd bought herself she looked between the smashed floo powder on the floor and her wand left over on the counter there, only a few feet away and then, at the man who was again raising his wand at her, mouth opening to form words. Ramona lunged for her wand, mind racing, wondering the best way to not get killed. She thought back to all those evenings with the D.A., recalling every single spell Potter had done with them and wondering if she could actually pull through when she needed to most.

As she reached out for her wand, mind set with a plan, a leather boot sent it scattering to the left, rolling under the couch, along with any hope of her fighting them off.

" _Crucio_!"

Ramona had seen the Cruciatus Curse performed several times before, how the victim would writhe and scream in unimaginable agony, as if they were burning from the inside-out. Her uncle once tried to teach her how to do it, walking her through all the steps as he demonstrated on a Gnome she'd taken in from the garden as she so often did as a child, ignoring her screams for him to stop. Professor Not-Moody had led her to believe it was like being tortured with white-hot knives. Nothing, however, could have prepared her for how it actually felt.

It was a pain she didn't believe could be described with mere words, when children fall, they feel pain wherever they fell, the pain is isolated to a specific area but the Cruciatus Curse targeted everywhere, at full volume so that there isn't even space to think or feel anything but the pain, she was stripped of anything else. She couldn't see, hear, or taste anything, only feel. Surely, this was what hell felt like.

And then, just like that, it was gone. Her sight, though blurry, held the picture of Regina's cracked ceiling, laughter sounded as if from another room though she still knew it was as her expense, the metallic tang of blood settled in the back of her mouth again, and the pain felt more like an echo, like a nightmare. She tried to move, to crawl away, maybe to try and reach her wand, but something seized her by the hair, nails digging into her scalp, hoisting her up a bit.

"Pretty little thing," the man hissed in her ear, hot breath on her cheek. "It'd be a shame to see you end up like your sister, all scarred and bloody."

Ramona thrashed though her limbs felt as if they were made of jelly, maybe if she kept this man talking long enough, help would arrive before her body was cold. "What did you do to her?"

A wicked smile flashed across his face, teeth still stained with blood, whose, Ramona didn't think she wanted to know. "Do you wanna find out, little bird?"

The woman suddenly moved forwards, a scowl pulling at her face. "That's enough, she'd only a kid."

"A kid who tried to kill us!" His wand flew up under her jaw, the tip poking hard into her skin. "Better to get rid of troublesome little brats when you can before they become a problem."

"Let's just wipe her memory, take the stuff and leave before any Aurors show up," she insisted.

"Oh, but Natalia...that's much less fun," his grip on her hair tightened. " _Crucio_!"

The pain came back, feeling even worse than before, as if something inside her was trying to burst out and rip her open. This time however, it did not last long as she was shoved forwards onto her stomach, head just missing the corner of the coffee table. She breathed hard and fast, trying to think as the sound of arguing grew louder, making her head throb painfully.

It seemed as if they'd momentarily forgotten about her, facing away from her, over by the window. She glanced around, wondering if she could make it downstairs without them noticing...no, the trapdoor was right beside them, she'd need to distract them or something. Her wand, where was it? She'd almost had it before he'd kicked it under the-yes, her wand lay under Regina's old couch with crumpled-up Transfiguration notes and a Chocolate Frog card of Newt Scamander.

In a rush of adrenaline and sudden determination, Ramona crawled across the room as was humanly possible, just about reaching their patchy couch, and stuck her hand underneath, fingers searching desperately for her wand. In the milliseconds that felt more like hours, she finally felt the reassuring sense of her wand in her hand and pointed it straight at the window opposite the two arguing attackers.

" _Bombarda_!"

With a sickening crash, thousands of tiny glass shards propelled themselves forwards in a deadly rain, catching the pair by surprise, long enough for Ramona to aim at them instead this time, Potter's teaching voice echoing around in her head. She wondered if it would be harder when she was not gunning for the sweet, round-faced Longbottom, when the stakes were infinitely higher, but she hadn't much time to dwell on that.

" _Stupefy_!"

A jet of dark crimson light sprung from the tip of her wand and hit the woman in the centre of her back, sending her limp body crashing down onto the man, his face even bloodier with scrapes from the glass. And then, with the speed of a Snitch, Ramona took off for the door to the shop and practically threw herself down the ladder. Behind her she could hear the roaring anger of the man and the sound of glass crunching underfoot. The second her feet were firmly on the floor, she kicked the ladder to the side, hoping that she'd bought herself some extra time.

The shop looked as if it'd been hit by a storm, the glass display case at the front had been blasted to bits, the walls were littered with singe marks, several of the cursed books were flapping about in a frenzy and the large oak bookshelf Regina had so proudly shown off Ramona's first day there had been yanked out from the wall and now lay at an odd angle, as if something was jammed beneath it.

Ramona scanned the shop for any signs of her sister as fast as she could, unwilling to leave without her, she didn't want to think what would happen to Regina if she left her with two possible Death Eaters. Then, she spotted a familiar wild mane of dark curls splayed out on the floor from underneath the collapsed bookcase and her blood ran cold. All the noise seemed to be sucked from the world as her eyes lay there, fixed.

Regina Burke wasn't moving.

The silence broke as swiftly as it came in the form of a growl right in her ear as a hand wrenched her back roughly by the hair. Still, Ramona could not tear her eyes from her motionless sister, her only sister, her only real family. Was it Ramona who'd gotten her killed? Because she'd made too much noise? She'd blown her cover? She felt a pain even worse than the Cruciatus Curse, though she'd thought it impossible.

Ramona Burke had killed her own sister.

The tip of a wand pressed hard into her cheek. She was vaguely aware of the man hissing something into her ear, taunts and threats, no doubt, about how slowly he was going to torture and kill her, just for the fun of it, how long it would take for their bodies to be found, but she couldn't bring herself to care much anymore, not when Regina was gone. The sole thought that came to the front of her mind was the hope that they were caught before they could get away.

" _Incarcerous_!" a voice resounded from what felt like far off.

With the sudden cry, the hand entangled in her hair flew away, bringing a chunk of her dark curls with it. She turned to see the man collapsed several feet away, bound with thick ropes around his arms, torso and ankles, writhing violently. Ramona tumbled backwards, palm pressing to the raw spot on her scalp and pushed herself as far away from him as she could.

A woman knelt down before her, blocking the view of her attacker. A warm smile spread across her pale heart shaped face, her short spiky hair a shock of violet. "You must be Ramona, Gina never shuts up about you. Any clue where she is?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, her eyes drifted to the fallen bookcase and her fallen sister. The woman seemed to understand this, despite the lack of description, and swept over to Regina. Ramona could now see another man bent over the one who'd attacked her, who now appeared heavily sedated, patting him down. He had a wild mane of straw-like grey hair that looked as if it had never seen a comb before and from underneath his patchy robes was a clawed wooden foot. The recognition hit her like a train.

"Professor Moody?"

He swivelled to face her with a low growl. "What?"

"Oh..." she blanched at the sight of his heavily scarred face, his fake eye pointing through the back of his head. "There's-there's another upstairs...a woman."

With a grunt of (maybe?) appreciation and a jerk of his head, another man emerged from the doorway, broad-shouldered and dark skinned who walked so quietly she wondered for a second if he was a vampire. He repositioned the ladder she'd kicked aside and disappeared upstairs.

Seeing Mad-Eye Moody again was like having her head dunked in a bucket of freezing water. Though she knew it had not really been him last year, fear crawled in the pit of her stomach. Though she'd never mentioned it aloud to anyone before, she still occasionally had nightmares about the time he'd Imperius'ed the class, however silly being forced to tap-dance was, thinking of his voice in her head, controlling her, gave her the shivers.

The woman, meanwhile, had managed to shift the bookcase off of Regina and had turned her onto her back where she was now checking for a pulse. "She's alive, Mad-Eye!"

Ramona jerked up. "Alive?"

They ignored her, even as she tried to push them aside.

"But she's not responding to my healing Charms, we have to get her to St Mungo's!"

"You and Kingsley take those two to the Ministry, I'll take Burke," Moody said.

"Should we tell them the truth? The Ministry?" The woman shot a furtive glance at Ramona, speaking in a lower tone now. "It could put the Order at risk if it gets out what they were looking for."

"Spare the details, they won't blab either-move girl!" he barked at Ramona who'd been trying to reach Regina.

The woman nodded. "Okay, if you see Arthur there, give him my love, I'd been hoping to visit him today."

"Will do," he said as she walked off, though Ramona couldn't picture him wishing anyone 'love' even if it was not his own. "Girl, hey!"

He snapped his fingers in front of her face. She just tore her gaze from Regina's pale face. "Sorry, what?"

"Your sister got an emergency portkey?"

"For..." her head felt foggy, "for St Mungo's...drawer under-under the register, broken sunglasses."

She heard him rustling about through the clutter of odd bits and bobs that Regina kept in the drawer under the register until he pulled out a pair of sunglasses with a missing lens and bent wire and set them down on the floor next to Ramona. He tapped the portkey twice with his wand, a gnarled looking thing, and it turned a greenish hue for a split second.

"Take her hand," he said, taking Regina's other hand in his own, "hold on to her tight, on the count of three, touch the portkey and I'd appreciate it if you don't get sick."

"O...okay," she took a deep breath and pushed back the thousands of questions and millions of worries on her mind. "I'm ready."

"One...two...three!"

And with a tug from behind her navel and a wave of nausea, the destroyed remains of Regina's store swirled and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, been a while, can you tell how hard I find writing action? If I can find the mental willpower, new chapter will be out next week.


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